I lost my sweet baby boy in May and I feel like I've been on a rollercoaster since then. The first few months were hell and then by September, I started to feel a little better. For the past month I've really been struggling. Every day gets harder. On top of everything I am a manager in retail and this is the most stressful time of the year. With every difficult customer I deal with, I'm getting closer to just snapping and saying "Really? Your biggest problem right now is that we're all out of red pajamas in your size? That's your excuse for verbally harassing me? If you only knew what I'm going through!". I know that sounds dramatic but it happens often and people can be so extremely cruel over something so insignificant. Anyone in retail will relate I'm sure. 🤦🏼‍♀️😅

I just miss my son so much. I've been to counselling and I think it helped me transition back to work after my leave, but it doesn't help with the sadness and isolation I feel. It took us almost 2 years to get pregnant and I lost him at 29 weeks. Now we've been trying for the past 3 months. This is our 4th month. I'm due for my period in 2 days, I tested yesterday with a BFN. I don't want anything for Christmas, I don't want to celebrate, I just want my son back and I want my rainbow. 😞🌈