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White Boyfriend sends memes with the “N” word in them...

We are an interracial couple, Black/White, and he sends me funny memes all the time which I love. However, sometimes those memes have the “N” word in them. I want to talk to him about it but I don’t need it to be a “thing”. He’s never said it. He dislikes the word, but I can admit the memes are funny. I can also admit that there’s a double standard playing out here because of his race. If a black person sent the same meme it wouldn’t bother me but because he sent it, it does. Am I being totally ridiculous? Should I just let it go? Talk to him about it? Am I just dealing with my own internal bias?

To clarify I don’t say the word or promote others of any race to say it. We’ve talked about how our kids will grow up and what they may be exposed to. Education of the word is key but I just don’t like the memes.

474 views • 0 upvotes • 17 comments

COMMENT (17)

Am

Posted at
Honestly, if you aren't black you should have no access to the word and no desire to use it.
Honestly, if you aren't black you should have no access to the word and no desire to use it.

Ra

Rachel • Feb 23, 2020
Right?! She’s saying he doesn’t use it but if the word is included in his brand of humor, I have questions.

Kh

Posted at
Honestly i dont think any white girl could really have a good opinion on this subject..no offense but thats just truth..that being said i have a white bf n im black n i know what u mean..he doesnt say the word or send memes with the word but sometimes he can joke in a way that i feel is derogatory to black ppl n any time he does it i say something right away..just bc he dates a black girl doesnt mean he can say certain things or that if he does say something he claims ita not racist when it actually kinda is..after a while he just stopped with the jokes all together..we have a child together n im curious how we are gonna approach this subject with her when the time comes

Ni

Nicole • Jan 10, 2020
Sorry that was longer than intended for like 1 sentence of your comment lol

Ni

Nicole • Jan 10, 2020
We are teaching my oldest about racism now. Me and my SO (not her father) are teaching her to embrace both sides of her. BUT I also asked him to explain shit she may go through. I could tell her due to things I witnessed BUT he has experienced racism first hand and could prepare her better. It's hard as a white mother knowong what your children could go through. Plenty of white people don't get it (and your boyfriend might not either). My SO other compared getting pulled over to me. I would pull over, grab my papers, hand them to cop...he would pull over, quickly put his paperwork on the dash, keep his hands on the steering wheel...it's a different world out there for different races and I think you should just flat out be honest with your children

🌹

Posted at
I get upset because my boyfriend’s family is constantly posting “dear white people” memes. He doesn’t post them himself but will “laugh” at what they post. I haven’t figured out how to bring up that I find it hurtful and how it makes me feel uncomfortable and defensive around his family.It’s not your own internal bias. I’d be very upset in your shoes. It’s it difficult to pass on sharing or laughing at those memes when you have a partner to consider in this. I wouldn’t have shared those before I was in an interracial relationship and definitely wouldn’t now out if sensitivity for him.

Ni

Nicole • Jan 10, 2020
I'm white an I find the dear white people memes HILARIOUS!! But I also grew up in a mostly black town went to school with maybe 1 other white person and honestly am biased against "stereotypical white people". But me and my SO are teaching our mixed kids how racism is racism no matter what

🌹

🌹 • Dec 20, 2019
Also, I’m definitely more sensitive to ALL of it, both sides, since having my son. I don’t like any race disrespected and dread what he’s going to face.

Br

Posted at
If he's a good a guy I personally don't see as a big deal but communication is key. If this is how you're feeling you should definitely sit down and have a talk with him to get the clarity you need

Ph

Posted at
not a big deal, girl. mention it if it’s really bothering you but the context behind how it’s said gives it power. he probably thought twice about how you’d react to it as well, given that he doesn’t say it around you.

Ti

Posted at
First off you're messing with a damn heathen bottom line! Oh and btw the "N" word is in the bible. Acts 13:1 and this time sistah...get your answers from the bible and not from these pagans! Otherwise you make yourself look cheat in his eyes and he's already a broken clearence item!

Sa

Posted at
I personally don’t think of this as him wanting to use the word, or trying to be offensive. The people who make the memes are the ones using the n word. He’s sending it to you because he finds the meme funny, not the use of the word. If you find it offensive then you should talk to him about it.

Li

Posted at
It should bother you a bit. Cant erase 500 years of a word being derogatory with 8 years of a black looking president. Not really a dounle standard. Hes never been called it before with actual meaning.

ni

Posted at
My boyfriend is white. Can’t recall a time he has sent me a meme with the N word in it but if he has I wouldn’t remember Bc it’s just a meme. It’s not that deep he didn’t say it and I’m sure the meme isn’t centered around it is it? Like he can laugh share and do what ever he wants idk why anyone would feel as though a post isn’t for someone else’s enjoyment and amusement Bc of their race and Bc it includes a word that’s dumb.

🎀

Posted at
The whole word is just dumb and should be eliminated all together. I wish the black community didn’t try to keep it going just by changing it😒 like reclaim power in other ways. The word is degrading
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