I already has anxiety before even bro pregnant and during pregnancy we lowered my med dosage (completely my choice, no push from the doctor or anyone else). Now babe is almost a week old and I’ve been seriously struggling since being home from the hospital. My anxiety is 1,000 times worse and my dear husband is the sweetest thing ever in helping me deal with and try to get a handle on it. I decided yesterday to call my doctor about upping my dosage, as he said to if I felt I needed it, and I never got a call back from the nurse line. Called again today and the same thing! I even called a second time today to talk with the receptionist and she said that the nurse was doing call-backs at the moment and I should be getting a call soon. Well that didn’t happen and now the office is closed for the weekend and there’s no chance of my meds changing until Monday at the earliest. I am so beyond frustrated with this! It’s almost just making my anxiety worse at times knowing I can’t do anything for the weekend. And on top of all that, baby has a shallow latch and lip tie and I can’t put her to the breast without crying and cringing in pain. I’ve had to supplement with formula, which isn’t necessarily a problem, on top of whatever I can pump during the day. She doesn’t go longer than maybe 2 hours between feeds (usually 1 1/2) and I know almost nothing about formula so it’s causing more anxiety not knowing if she’s getting enough or if she’s getting too much. We’re still working on getting her days and nights corrected and and helping her stay awake slightly more during the day. I feel like a nuisance because I’ve called the 24 hour nurse line at the pediatrician’s office almost every day this week with questions and worries and concerns. My anxiety is making me physically ill at times and it’s hard to make sure I’m getting enough calories. I wake up every 2 hours at night, even if baby is still sleeping, and it’s really taking a toll on me. Pumping is hard and my anxiety has me second guessing on whether I can do it and make enough for my baby or not. Baby does okay with formula and does well with burping, but still ends up spitting up maybe an hour later and the other night I woke up to her choking which was really scary for me.

I know this is a lot and I don’t know if anyone has actually read this far. I don’t know what the point of this entire post is for. I just really need to let it out.

PS should I still swaddle her if she’s already starting to roll on her side when she sleeps during the day? Last night she was swaddled and didn’t roll over at all. I’m just noticing it today