I almost went and bought a pregnancy test tonight. I’ve been depressed because I really thought I was pregnant, and it would have been hard to break the news to my mom especially. I was late for my period and extremely tired and throwing up. I put on my shoes and a jacket to go buy the test but then I had to pee so I go and thank you Jesus there was blood. I almost cried tears of joy.

I have never been more happy to come to the conclusion that I must just have a stomach virus. I have never been more happy to open a box of tampons. I am so, so relieved.

Time to celebrate the fact that I made it through the decade with no unplanned pregnancies