"You'll never have children without scientific help." -fertility clinic

I can rememeber the room began to spin, I looked at my husband and just cried. I began taking viatmins, changed my diet, exercised. I wasn't over weight, I was pretty healthy. I have PCOS. What the doctors told me.

5 years we tried and decided to adopt.

March 13, 2019 I have scheduled the fire department to do an inspection on my house so we could begin the adoption process...but I felt off. Something wasnt right I wasn't feeling well. I called my mother who told me to "go buy a pregnancy test." But mom it's going to be negative. It always is. 5 years of negatives, I didn't want anymore. I couldn't take it. But I went...I got that test. I sat in the bathroom contemplating if I even wanted to dissapoint myself. But I took that test...and I was finally pregnant. I cried. I cried in anger, in sadness, in happiness all together. Because you finally came, I waited so long for you.

The pregnancy was amazing.

You were perfect in every which way.

Mommy was perfect in every way.

39 weeks/3 days.

Just 4 days away from my due date with you! And you were born!!

I was induced with you on 11.11.19

....and what you and I went through was excruciating.

11.11.19 I was given Cervadil to help my cervix soften.

11.12.19 I waa started on Pitocin for 3 hours and was taken off of it due to "lack of staff" being able to watch me while on pit because of an emergency. For 6hrs I was off pitocin. Then they started back up.

11.13.19 Your birthday! I was laboring for 30mins when the dr (not the one mommy had, she left out of town so I was left with another dr I didnt know.)

told me about forceps and vaccum...to help get you out. He was rushy. Sweating profusely, wouldn't look at me, wouldnt talk to me, acted like I was a burden and was bored. I endes up getting the epidural at 8.5 cm I tried so hard to have a natural birth but mommy coulsnt focus on even breathing. The pit was at 14ml and I was having contractions 30seconds apart or less they were continous no breaks in between.

I decided to have this dr use the forceps to get you out because you were having a hard time.

That was a mistake.

Who knew dr would of possibly been high on meth?

Who knew I would have you for less than 2mins on my chest because you had to be flown out to the NICU an hour away? Who knew I would be stuck not knowing your condition?

No one knew.

Mommy tore 3rd degree

You were sent away for possible brain bleed. All because dr pulled and used the forceps too hard.

Causing you to be possibly deaf

Causing facial paralysis

Causing your ears to bleed.

Causing you to leave my side.

I didnt even get to see your face before they took you. I didnt get to smell you, to feel you...to say hello.

You were in the NICU for a week. Dark yellow from the Jaundice being so bad from the dark purple bruise on top of your head. You thankfully didnt have a brain bleed. But you did have a horrific hematoma.

Feeding tubes and Ivs, heel pricks causing your heels to be purple.

I held you for the first time 2 days after you were born. But it was short lived.....

11.23.19

We finally went home.

You now require physical and massage therapy, are possibly deaf due to the doctor puttingth forceps on your ears.

Because he couldn't keep a needle out of his arm.

But you are home.

And you are still my perfect little boy.

Momma and Daddy got you. No matter what.

UPDATE: My little boy may have to have skull surgery if its severe enough. Getting second opinions of neurologists to see what they think. Also today Jan 2 2020 is his hearing appointment. Wish us luck! Will update again.

GREAT NEWS!

My little boy is not completely deaf! 😭😭 He passed both his hearing tests, but his left ear (where most the damage was) may have minimal hearing loss. It barely passed so hopefully he will grow out of it. 😭😭😭 Im so happy. My little boy is going to be okay so far with hearing.

I would like to update everyone that yall havr inspired/made me more comfertable and confident. I am seeking legal aid/finding a lawyer. The hospital has gotten rid of said doctor from their staff. He no longer working at least here. I will update yall more!! Thank you for all of your support. It really means a lot to me especially in these dire times.

UPDATE: GREAT NEWS

His skull is not fusing together so no skull surgery for my boy 😭😭😭😭. I am so overwhlemed with joy. I couldnt bare the thought of him having to have his scalp pulled back. Thank goodness.

Almost 9 months old now and boy he is so good!

Physical therapy still but not for much longer! He is doing so good. Thank you everyone.

UPDATE: Wow time flies, but look at my little man! Graduated therapy, talking away, running... 19 months old and doing perfect.