Telling in-laws/parents?

Question

Hi all? I'm wondering when you told your family and when you told how in-laws/baby-daddy's parents? My mom and sister know because I'm super close to them and if something were to happen, I'd need their support (I've had two miscarriages in the past.) I think it would be super cute to tell my hubby's parents on Christmas morning but I'll only be 4w,5d and he's not convinced my mil could keep it a secret until we announce to everyone in the second trimester. I want to give get some credit, but I feel it would be super unprofessional if my colleagues "heard it through the grapevine." I'm so conflicted! I just know they will be so happy to know!

Answer

I am in the same situation. My MIL cannot keep a secret, however i am respecting my husbands wishes because it’s his baby too. He wants to announce it to his family on Christmas (we will be 7.5 weeks), so we will. 
I am going to have a talk with my MIL and explain that if she tells anyone that she will not be in the loop with ANYTHING ELSE. She will find out when Facebook find out. I know it’s harsh but, ive had a miscarriage in the past and we aren’t hearing the heartbeat until 9 weeks, so we want to make sure everything is Heathy.

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I’m not telling anyone but hubby until Valentine’s Day when I’m at 13 weeks (I’ve already made the announcement 😬). My family, friends, and in-laws are all in the same boat... no special early announcements to anyone for any reason. 
This is a rainbow baby, so I don’t want to share the news too soon, considering my prior history. Keeping my hubby from blabbing to my in-laws will be the hard part. He is super close to them, but I don’t care... they can wait.

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Ugh I'm struggling with this. My husband got his feelings hurt because I said I didn't want to tell anyone until I'm further along (Dr said I'm 6wks 4 days). I really really want my family to know, but there's both sides that just feels like a lot of pressure to me.
My mom wants to know so she can tell people and his family tells everything like it's their day job. I hope my mom would respect me if I told her to keep it hush but his family wouldn't and wouldn't understand. But I feel like he wants to do it for his parents and their benefit, whereas I want my family to know for us not for them.
It's very hard and I'm still questioning it. Going to talk to my Dr at my appointment tomorrow and see what they say.

Answer

My husband is the one who has a hard time keeping a secret 🤦‍♀️ so if he hasn’t told his parents yet, we probably will Christmas. 
Last year we gave them a picture board with all the grandkids on it, so I plan to slyly add a note that says ‘aug 2020’ and just wait for them to notice. 
For my parents I left an ornament on my tree (rather large I should add) that says ‘what’s one more? Aug ‘20’ which one or the other will notice christmas morning when they come over 😂 
Once they’re told I already know who’s telling who. But they’ve always respected my wishes to not post anything on social media before I do and that’s all that matters lol

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I wouldn’t tell if YOU aren’t comfortable or sure about it. Of course it’s his baby to. But he isn’t the one carrying it. This is about the only time in a marriage that you get full and total say. This is something happening to your body, and if you do miscarry it not him going through the physical stuff and the emotional stuff. It’s always going to be harder on you. Don’t let this stress you out.

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I’ll be just over 6 weeks on Christmas. We’re going to put our 5 month old son in the white shirt on Christmas and have my parents/my mother in law take off his jacket when it’s time to open gifts.

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I’m waiting to tell my in-laws for at least a month. As cute as Christmas would be, I want to hear the heartbeat before I say anything.

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We told my parents at 4 weeks and 3 days because I was so excited to tell them! We are telling my in-laws on Christmas Eve. We wanted to tell everyone in person! With that being said, my parents were asked not to tell all of the extended families and they definitely respected our wishes. My MIL on the other hand...I don’t trust she won’t. Her family is large so it would get around even if she told her two closest sisters (there’s 10 kids total). I am going to be straight forward with her that she has to keep it a secret. This is our first pregnancy and I don’t want all of my husbands extended family to know if we miscarry. None of their business!

Answer

We told my parents yesterday at 4w exactly, and will tell my hubby's parents and sisters on Christmas Eve when we exchange gifts with them. My siblings will be told sometime this week when I see them. 
After a lot of thought we have decided to tell the people we love/would want to know if we miscarried anyway as early as possible. We want to celebrate this life from the start. 
We are telling my husband's brother and sil tonight privately because they have been struggling with infertility, and I know they will want to be happy for us, but also want to give them time to process before we tell the rest of the fam/everyone is talking about it and getting excited. 
That said, if this were not Christmas week we probably would have waited until 5w to tell parents and 6w to tell siblings, it just works out that we are all together and that doesn't happen much.

Answer

I am also in the same situation.  I will be 6 weeks on Christmas and would love to tell our families, but we both agreed to wait until after our first appointment at 10 weeks.  We both have witnessed family members and friends go through the heartbreak of a miscarriage and announcing it to us not long after.  At the end of the day, it’s a decision you both have to be comfortable with and if you are worried that they will blab, sit down with them and explain how important it is to wait until you are ready to share the news.  It is your child after all and you will do anything to protect them. :)