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What I do with my 20month old, especially when he's literally THROWING a tantrum, I make sure there's nothing sharp or hard around him so he doesn't hurt himself, then I walk away. When he is done, we have a conversation why that was not ok. He's my second child.
Tips for these tantrums PLEASE!
Hello mamas!
My 20m old is really throwing tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. I mean falling back on the floor and screaming and even hitting. I’m pretty sure that the hitting the was something learned at preschool because it didn’t start until he started school. Anyway, me and my husband have absolutely no problem taking something that he shouldn’t have and explaining why he can’t have it and trying to replace it with something else and distract him. But he will get so mad that he throw stuff and scream and swat his arms and hit. And that is just not ok. At home we just ignore it and continue on until he eventually realizes that no one is paying attention and he just stops. But today we went to church with my family and he wanted my husbands phone which we said no we don’t play with daddy’s phone but you can color with this coloring book and crayons. He literally went limp and fell on the floor under the pew mad and hitting at us. My husband took him out. It was not pleasant. Another example is him knowing what no means and continuing to do it anyway and then getting mad and throwing a tantrum when one of us stops him. I’m just at a loss of what to do. Is this just a phase like people keep telling me or is there something we as parents can do?
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We’re in this boat too. I tend to get on his level with him and try to stay as calm as possible. (Add: there are days I lose it too though and cry myself lol) I just try to remember that he doesn’t understand what these emotions mean and that’s really hard, so sometimes I try to say things like “it can be really frustrating when you can’t have the toy you want. I understand. But it’s not safe.” Or something like that. Sometimes I just hug him and let him rage and be his safe space. Sometimes I have to leave the room for a moment to regroup (so long as he’s in a safe place). I saw one dad who would use a tactic that sometimes work like, “we’re going to stop watching this video when it’s over so we can go color” or whatever. That way the child gets more excited about the next thing instead of upset about what they have to stop. Plus it lets them know what’s happening. I have 2 books that were recommended and have skimmed that are kind of helpful too. No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury The Emotional Life of the Toddler Alicia Lieberman Good luck momma. I know it’s so hard!
Our daughter does the same. She goes limp and will let herself fall backwards so I’m always nervous she’s going to hit her head. We let her ride the tantrum out and try our best to ignore it. She’s starting to hit though so we’re doing a time out anytime she does that. We go to our dining room, sit her down and explain why she is in time out. She usually sits for 20 seconds and then says “hug” and “sorry”. I think it’s totally normal at this age, but definitely makes me cringe. I just keep telling myself she can’t communicate with full sentences yet, so she’s frustrated and testing her limits.
I think it’s just their age. Mine is doing it too. Not out in public, but epic meltdowns/tantrums at home and our in laws. She fully understands us 100% but currently when she doesn’t get her way all hell breaks loose. Shesthrowing things constantly when she throws a tantrum. We give her a good scold and tell her not to throw xyz, and currently just let her ride the tantrum out, because drawing attention to it currently onlyMakes it worse. 🤷🏼♀️If she did it out in public I’d take her straight to the car and just leave.
No tips but we’re going through the same thing. We’ve had a few massive tantrums in public and being 32 weeks pregnant and my 20 month old weighing 34lbs I’ve just had to let him roll around on the floor and scream. It’s so embarrassing. I think our problem is communication as our son has only a few words down. I would say what you’re doing is good and other than that I think we just have to ride it out.
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