Im 15 w 5days went for bump tuesday wow my rainbow so sweet

After four months of no sex with my husband..

I couldnt help it was difficult to be close to my husband no kisses no sex at all..I was just in my own world didn't think about his need...he understand sometimes..

He is so so innocent I actually realize the pain I caused for our marriage, infact we planned the pregnancy..

Its my 4 he's first we are 1 and half year married

But its so difficult to have sex I can't stand him at all..

But I never knew I hurt him personally,by my actions sometimes I make him sleep on the couch 😭😭😭 its not easy

Last Thursday night NOT in the mood at all.

He sat lonely one side I went to bed I just try to just show him I love him its only the hormones.. We had sex

Infact I didn't have only satisfy him it helps me to sleep so much better....the atmosphere at home now its highly as the time we met...

Since lastweek we had again sex last night it start.. I'm not a lover of sex I don't like sex at all because of my history I was raped before 😭 ..its still not easy 😢......But my husband and my marriage Its so important and I realize I need to balance it

I did say if he wants to go its up to him but its easy say then done he is the best,

I just put myself in his shoes 😞 and realize he is my life I can't ignore and reject him every time...

....and after last weeks sex he told me it wasn't easy because it started to hurt him inside although he know its the hormones but rejection hurts

I never knew it still blame myself and feel so badly for that..the guild of his pain that he went through still hurts me imagine my marriage for hormones 😥😥😥

And although I forced myself only for one times sex I'm now so relieved, am sleeping well and the joy is back to normal at home..

I just want to tell some here remember you Not alone in this

Your partner is important

Don't hurt your relationship, marriage

Family its very important and keep it healthy by not hurting anyone

And I promised myself sex in every two weeks its good in pregnancy

I never wanted to believed people since I had sex with my husband the smiles is so amazing💗💗

Remember to try its better than tears at the end of the day

I know its not easy but I learned so much out of one night

I enjoy so much rest now after sex it makes me sleep so nice,stress so relieved.🙌🙌🙌🙌