About two years ago, my husband was diagnosed with Azoospermia. Beginning of this month, we went ahead and did the TESE procedure which was unsuccessful, no sperm were found. We were both distraught. However, I desire to raise a family with my husband not so much the genetic aspect. But he can’t seem to wrap his head around using donor sperm. We talked about it a little as soon as we found out and he said that wasn’t an option at the moment, but he would think on it. Well last week, he tells me “you can have the baby”! So we talk about it for a bit and I thought he was onboard to start the process of selecting a donor and moving forward with the <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>. But, tonight he texts me saying he can’t do it. If I had a kid before him, it would be different but he just can’t accept the fact that i would be having another man‘s baby who wouldn’t have any features of him or his personality. He understands the nurturing part which will happen once the child is here but says he can’t wrap his head around us being married and me carrying someone else’s baby. Part of me understands where he’s coming from, but the other part is not understanding. I know it’s a big life step and is permanent, but can anyone tell me how their husband got on board ? Did you guys do counseling ? I just wish he had someone to talk to in his shoes. I feel like 2020 will be just like 2019, although a few days ago I claimed it would be totally different because we would have a baby by next holidays. It’s soo hard. Everyone’s consistently asking, “when y’all having a baby?” “What y’all waiting on?” “Y’all the only ones without a baby.” It makes my blood boil everytimeeee. I feel so lost. I love my husband dearly, and I accept him no matter what. But I want to experience motherhood💔💔.