Would this hurt you?

Question

My boyfriend on Christmas Eve text me and says “i didn’t have time to get your gift ,I didn’t know what to get you so what do you want” “i texted back that i shouldn’t have to tell you what to get me” he then replies “I’ll just give you money to get your nails done..ill watch the kids when you go” k so whatever, but then I’m seeing everyone either getting engaged, beautiful personal gifts...I got him 3 gifts...I mean I wasn’t expecting anything until I found an amazon box full of 4 gifts for his other two kids only..:not my daughter from a previous, not my two children WITH HIM, just them...but he said he didn’t have time...now I’m sick , he’s at work and all he says is “ I’m sorry get some rest” like SURE OK WHILE I TAKE CARE OF OUR 3 months old and 3 year old GOT IT! Sorry i am so beyond frustrated with him, it’s issue after issue and he doesn’t care about us it seems...or this relationship

Accepted Answer

I'd be upset about the kids. Not myself. The kids are what come first. Especially since he got 2 of them something and  not the other

Answer

Seems super immature you care about receiving gifts.

Answer

You’re feeling and thinking all this and he’s in lala land. Communicate. Spell out what you need slowly...break it all the way down for him.

Answer

This isn’t a gift issue this is a communication issue

Answer

10/10 would cry and be upset too

Answer

This would hurt me. When you sit back and realize that others are treated better than you. Actions matter, it’s not even about a gift. I would feel real funny about all the kids not getting gifts. The older I get the more I learn and grow. My right way of doings is not the same as everyone. I’ve had to learn that some people just don’t care.

Answer

Do you, your children, and him live together?
Only logical explanation is... he purchased his other two children gifts because they live with their mother. 
Maybe he expected you to purchase the kids' gift?
If that's the case, I wouldn't necessarily be upset. I would preferred it better communicated to me so I wouldn't assume there's some type of preference going on.
Regarding him not purchasing you a gift, I understand why you're upset. However, sometimes men need some guidance when it comes to these type of things. Simply let him know that you would prefer a heartfelt gift next time.

Answer

This is not meant as negative or a judgement but I think it’s important to discuss gifts and your expectations ahead of time if you know you are someone who gets upset if you don’t receive what you feel you should have in order to avoid disappointment and to manage your expectations. My hubby didn’t get me anything this Christmas (we are saving for my second maternity leave in a row and just bought a new house). We talked about it ahead of time so I was 100% prepared for it and 100% okay with it. 
Also, maybe he expected you were covering the gifts for your children for the both of you since you are together (anything either of us buy our son is considered from the both of us) and because he’s not with his other children’s baby mama he would need to get something or it would be noticed? Again, communication before hand would have been helpful.

Answer

He isn’t required to get you gifts for Christmas. That’s not an obligation or requirement. 
He’s also not technically obligated to give your daughter from a previous relationship a gift. However, it is very crappy and immature of him to only give his other children gifts and not the ones he has with you. 
I wouldn’t have had children with someone who acted like this. I wouldn’t have even continued a relationship with him. There is more to a relationship than gifts. There is more to being a parent than gift giving. You don’t have to be in a relationship with him if you don’t want to. You’re not married or engaged. You can end it and move on to better things.

Answer

If he had time to get the other kids gifts he had time for everyone else🤷 He chose not to get u nun. Personally I am someone who gives gifts. I get my SO things bc that's partially how I show my love. I only expect a gift in return on anniversary, Christmas, and sum small on Valentine's day. Never anything expensive. I started tearing up when my BDs fam gave me a little necklace that had a baby n mom holding hands pendant. So cute prob cost like $15-20. N I expect to go out (to like the movies) on my birthday. That's how I am. Giving n receiving gifts r one of my top love languages. I make it known that I'm expecting sum. Normally by asking if they r planning on getting me something. Now ik different families do things differently. So if he knew u expected something then I'd be mad. Just him going out to get the other kids gifts but not u n saying that he didn't have time. I'd wonder how he had time for them. If his only reason is he didn't have time. Thats bull. U make time for ppl u care about. He made time to purchase something. But didn't make the time for u🤷🤷 seems like he doesn't wanna put in all the effort

Would this hurt you?

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