Rant!!

I feel like my husband can’t do shit!!!. I take care of my step kids 24/7... well I’m sick... and I literally can’t move because I have a sever cold... I asked him to get the kids dressed because their mom is coming over to check on the sick kids and drop off meds. right now my husband can’t afford to even buy them medicine and neither can I because I spend all my money on their Christmas gifts... but anyways the kids are hardly dressed and their mom bitches about everything. I’m sick so the house is a mess of course!. Because seems my husband is incapable of cleaning.... he refuses to give the kids fresh PJS And refuses to clean the house. Now me who can hardly stand is looking for pjs for the kids and cleaning the house. His ex wife has a CPS investigator on her tail and last thing I want is for her to come over see this chaos and call CPS. I’m just so salty about everything right now. It’s like his money fucking disappears every time I turn my back. I have bought the kids all their Christmas gifts and all their summer,school,fall clothes. The other day I was going through clothes and I mentioned being tired of buying EVERYTHING and how I’d love to have help with everything financially and physically. He than said he bought 80% of their clothes NOT me!! 😤.... which is bs..... my family did give us what they could and than I bought them clothes and My husband got them each 1 outfit with his tax money after I bothered him about it. They had NO clothes here when I first came into the picture... and they weren’t having any stay overs ... but he’d watch them while his ex worked because he couldn’t afford a babysitter because they charge a lot where I’m from. My husband keeps promising me each month that we are doing really well on money and than boom GONE!. I believed him this Christmas. I payed for gas,food, kids toys, I just asked that he pays his van payment this week. Well he makes about 700 dollars a week... and guess fucking what!.... he couldn’t hardly afford his van payment this week after reassuring me he could and even have left over money until I get paid again. I get money from working side jobs because I’m a disabled high school drop out so the amount I get each week varies but I always make it work with what I get. I have brain damage among other issues with my brain that makes every day life harder and I have a mild learning disability. I’m trying to get disability for it all. But for now I’m SOL. And my husband just isn’t helping me with anything. I just want to cry... he’s the first man to sweep me off my feet but this situation SUCKS... I’m trying my best for the kids and it feels like he’s doing bare minimum. He even asked after we got low on cash to return some of the children’s gifts this year... I was so mad and said absolutely not. They only got two gifts from Santa this year anyways which already made me feel shitty.

My husband use to do really well with money or so I thought. I wasn’t in his money at the time seeing finances but He never came off like he struggled. bought me a very expensive engagement ring when he proposed...

Ever since we got married shits gone down hill. I made him a cute gift this year and to be fair I expected him to do SOMETHING for me since he said he could afford to do a little something for me. but nope... not even a sweet card... Like I didn’t care if he just wrote me a sweet note 😭.