How do you feel about step parents being called mom or dad? Is it inappropriate if the other parent is active and a good parent.

I’m a step parent and I’ve been married for almost 12 years. I’ve never allowed my step kids to call me mom or anything like that. I’ve always been called by my name. They live with us as well. I’m also not expected to do anything that a “mother” does for her kids because they have a mom. A lot of people feel like I’m wrong or selfish but I just feel like it works for us and it took YEARS for us to reach a point where there’s no bickering or arguing about me not being their mom. I now have my own son and I can see how their mom felt. I would be LIVID if my son called another woman mom or another woman tried to step on my toes when it came to my child. Would you be ok with your child calling their step parent mom or dad?