Crush making me feel slightly crazy đ„Ž
So hereâs whatâs going on here. My fiancĂ© and I both love to watch this group of YouTubers. Weâve watched their series on YouTube for about a month now and I have developed a silly schoolgirl crush on one of them.
At first I didnât tell him because I thought it was silly and I kept trying to deny it within myself. Well then we were talking about this particular YouTuber in the car a week later and he noticed I got all giggly and blushy. He said âyou have a crush on him donât you?â And I giggled and said âyes ugh fine!â Surprisingly he was super happy about it, he thinks itâs adorable especially when he picks on me about it.
Itâs making me feel kind of crazy and loopy though and Iâm not sure thatâs normal for a crush on someone whose somewhat famous. Sometimes I feel weak and shaky which I just noticed in these last few weeks when these feelings started. I tossed it up to bleeding a ton during my period. But it only makes me feel crazy at certain times and itâs rare. Itâs really only when im really busy at work or at the most unfitting times. But when Iâm with my fiancĂ© it doesnât cross my mind until he starts teasing me about it and then it goes away until the next time.
But alas, itâs still just an innocent schoolgirl crush. However I did send him a friendly (non-creepy) message telling him weâre huge fans of his videos and that weâd love to meet him if he ever came near us as well as some possible topics for future videos. My fiancĂ© knows about this, I even showed him the message and he thought it was great. This was about 2 weeks ago and on Christmas Day he replied and said something along the lines of âhey thank you! Glad you enjoy the videos and Merry Christmas!â So that was cool.
I donât know what it is about him though. Maybe itâs because his videos are topics that Iâve been mesmerized by since I was a kid and I look up to him in a sense? Maybe itâs just an admiration. I mean he is cute as hell too with his big blue eyes that make me melt. But I do see a lot of myself in him. And maybe thatâs what it all boils down to.
I just needed to vent about it and get it all off my chest. And for the record, I have no intention of tracking him down and starting anything. I donât really see him like that. I donât want anything romantic or sexual, that weirds me out. Iâve thought about it a few times and itâs not what Iâm feeling. I guess I just want to be friends with him more than anything and share stories of our adventures. Itâs just a silly little schoolgirl crush and I intend completely for it to stay that way. And Iâm glad my fiancĂ© is supportive of it. That makes all the difference to me because if he wasnt, Iâd let it go. But it doesnât interfere with our relationship at all because I know when to reel it in.
Let's Glow!
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