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My ex husband had this issue and the guy I’m seeing now is on meds that cause this problem. There are so many reasons for it, I had to learn not to take it personal. It was really hard for me, especially with my husband because I assumed that it was happening because he wasn’t into me. It’s really his issue. I had to learn that the only thing I can do is express my feelings about it, and the rest is up to him. I was too “nice” to express my feelings to my husband, and it ultimately destroyed our marriage (not just about erectile dysfunction). I realize now that it’s my RESPONSIBILITY to share how I feel- I’m not doing my part if I don’t, but I’m overstepping my boundaries if I tell him what to do. It would really help if he went to the doctor or saw a therapist, you can mention that as options. He has the right to choose to take action or do nothing and you have the right to decide whether you want to stay with him or get what you need and want somewhere else.
SO delayed ejaculation
So this is my first time posting. Be easy on me lol. We have been together for 2 years. He hadn't been with anyone in 10 years so porn was his friend. Anyway after learning that we could not have a full sex life if he continuted that he swore it off but took about 6 months to actually stop. Fast forward to now. He still has trouble alot of the time staying hard enough for intercourse and cant get off. But then as soon as he starts on himself he is hard again and gets off quickly. My problem is even though I'm touching myself he doesn't watch. He just focuses elsewhere. What is he thinking about? Wouldn't it be better for him to be watching? Also, if he has ED or Delayed issues wouldn't he also have that problem when he takes over?
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LL
Awww that's tough. Mine was raised with alot of sexual openness so he sees nothing wrong with it . I have often wondered if a christain man raised like that wouldn't do that but I guess the do. Sorry
Li
Sounds like a mental/emotional thing. My ex was raised in a very Christian home and was taught that masturbating, etc. was immoral, and he was the kind of guy who always tried really hard to do the right thing, so he suppressed all his sexual urges to the point where he got all confused. I caught him looking at porn, and was absolutely crushed because I made the assumption that I wasn’t good enough and that’s why he had to look at other women. I still don’t know exactly what was going through his head, but I do know that part of why he couldn’t get it up with me is that he felt such strong shame over his sexuality that he couldn’t express it with me.
LL
Thank you for that. I figured that's what it is but I dont understand how he can get hard again on his own and then go soft again as soon as we try again
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