really don’t have a friend and i would love if you help me out❤️

Recently i have been so insecure and avoid doing things that make me confident like posting a pic and i get worried that my bf judges me in his head. I see the girls he finds attractive they all are effortless even in their pictures i want to be effortless too and it’s so hard for me to be. Days like today i do my makeup and feel like sharing it but then i think it’s ridiculous and not effortless at all and i feel ashamed of posting it so i try making the pic smaller and add some stickers to distract the attention from my ridiculous picture 😢 I really need advice and help