Ttc and Tta Frustrations

I dont even know where to start. I am 34 yrs old and am still trying for baby #1 for almost 4 yrs with 2 miscarriages. Going through almost all the tests our next approach is iui. January will be the 1st try at it.

In August, my brother and sister in law (both currently hard drug addicts) gave birth to baby #5 and surrendered him. After a long thorough discussion, my husband and i decided to move forward to adopt him. Being in another state, he was placed with a foster family. The process is being dragged out sooooo long, and we had a meeting today and in such a way was told that the longer he is with the foster family the higher chance of him staying with that family.

Im trying so hard to stay positive but damn its soooo hard. And i swear, everytime i talk to someone im finding out someone else new is pregnant.

My sister who is also a drug addict, just found out shes on #4, and my brother and his newly wife (not dug addicts for the record) who are living with us temporarily became pregnant under our roof...but cant afford to move out!

Im beyond frustrated. My husband and i are more than capable to afford a child and want one more than anything and yet all the ones who shouldnt be are the ones having them.

I want a little one, to see them grow, to teach them right from wrong, to get to put joy into their lives. To deal with the good and the bad. To have a good reason to be tired. Please let something good come of 2020.