When someone asks “Do you want a boy or a girl?” And I answer “girl”, I get chastised and say “you should want healthy”.

Of course I want healthy, but I really want a girl. I’m so afraid of having a boy because one I’m afraid I won’t be able to bond with him. And 2 my husband is insisting on a family name which I don’t really like but it’s very important to him as it’s his uncles and grandfathers name who very recently passed. I nanny for a two year old boy who is HORRIBLE, but then I go into work (daycare) and see the cutie one year old who is the sweetest.

Please, don’t judge me for this. I am skeptical about being pregnant, even though this is something I’ve wanted my whole life. I had a chemical in October and I feel like I’m just waiting for this one to end in a miscarriage.

Again, please no hate. I just need to know what I’m feeling is valid