Do you ever just feel like you want a boyfriend but at the same time don’t and yet even if you did couldn’t get one and even if you had one you’d probably not like it, I’ve felt like this for so long and find myself stupidly caught in the fantasy of a boy bringing me happiness but I know I can’t rely on a guy to do that, it’s myself that has to make me happy but how do I move on from this need? I try to focus on school but everyone around me finds someone, and I know I will too someday, and I have to focus on my school life but it doesn’t distract me from the feelings, years ago I spent my days on guys but it changed and now I haven’t had a crush in 4 years, but why do I kind of want one?