Ok so I found out I was pregnant and the next day woke up with a significant amount of bleeding and bled for 10 days so I thought I had miscarried. After the bleeding stopped I had a feeling I needed to take a test so I did... Still pregnant. Went to the doctor and they sent me for scans and did blood work. Baby looked good, I saw the heart beat, and my levels were going up!(I had a hemotoma which caused the bleeding)

Exactly 4 weeks later I go to my first ob appointment where they can't find baby, so they started tracking my levels and they were going down slowly so they told me to expect to start bleeding soon. I go in for my vaginal scan to see if I need a d&c... Surprise there is my healthy baby with a healthy heart beat being crazy active!!!

At this point im mind blown because I've already thought I miscarried this baby twice so wtf is happening. Turns out my uterus is tilted (never knew even though I have had a healthy pregnancy before) and baby was sitting on my spine so we were unable to see abdominal. They monitored my levels for a few weeks and everything looked good.

Fast forward to new year's <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> and I started cramping mildly and had a few small blood clots come out. New year's day a few more clots and the cramping turned into very sever cramps!! I go to the emergency room and I'm not 13 weeks pregnant. the doctor tells me I'm fine and he needs a blood sample and urine sample and after my results come back they will send me home... Well I go to give the urine sample and the most blood I have ever seen in my life comes out along with 8 golf ball sized clots. I tell the doctor and he says "we don't worry about bleeding in the first trimester"....

Well my labs come back and he has to come in and tell me they are sending me for an ultrasound because my hcg was at 72. Left me in the waiting room where I had to go change my pad every 20 minutes so I wouldn't leak through. And I ended up leaking through onto the chair and they still wouldn't give me a room to lose my baby in private. Went for my ultrasound and everything had come out in the time I was in the waiting room... no tissue left.

I'm sad. I'm pissed. I wanted that baby so fucking bad. I wish the health care system wasn't so fucked but that they didn't care that my baby was dying or even try to help me be a little more comfortable.

I love that baby with every piece of me and he or she will always be apart of our family.