It's been a year since I had an episiotomy and ive always torn and bled after sex (yes I waited 10 weeks to have sex and was cleared by the midwife) I've read stories of people having issues for years so I shrugged it off but 3 weeks ago I decided to get it checked out and my doctor told me that I needed more lubrication as the scar tissue wasn't as stretchy. Understandable.

Now my partner is on antidepressants and had issues ejaculating so he gets blue balls. His doctor said that he had to initiate sex which is fine idc but I take time to get wet and he can't stay hard long enough plus he doesn't do any foreplay... (Or doesn't know how?)

Now I discussed what my doctor told me he had to do more foreplay and use lube but had the audacity to tell me my vagina was loose.. even before the baby.. and he likes when I'm not that wet.. but like how the fuck am I loose when I tear all the time!? Everytime.. my sex drive is gone he has completely turned me off... He has had to watch porn to get off while I suck his dick but I never get oral in return... So now I have a really hard time getting wet and no interest in sex.. (no interest in masturbating either I'll try but can't cum

So how do you get your sex drive back? Is there any herbal supplements that are safe to take while breastfeeding? (I will be weaning shortly) I also don't get that much alone time.. so don't really have time to explore ... I'm desperate I'm losing my mind, I need some god damn relief!!!