Feeling discouraged

Hi all, so let me start by saying 2 months ago I had a faint BFP but after 5 days I ended up getting AF. I was devastated. But hubby and I stayed determined to keep on trying.

Fast forward to right now, I’m 13 days late with AF.. I got one positive test but still test and the cheap ones I’m using are all saying negative...

I called my OB to see what’s going on and I don’t go until the 13th. Can I even stand to wait that long to figure out what’s going on?! I don’t know. I just feel so discouraged at this point.

I have been having some symptoms but they could just be from AF or even stress (some things are stressing me out as much as I’m trying to control it).

I’ve had sore tender and heavy breasts, nausea and vomiting and last week complete fatigue.

I’m just so scared that when I go to the OB next Monday they’re going to check and say “nope, but your ovaries are all messed up” or something and honestly it’s so frustrating.

Before conceiving my daughther my dr told me we’d never have a baby. I believed her, so we are beyond frate for her and I’m not taking it lightly that I have her... but I’d really like to give her a sibling close in age, to grow up and hopefully grow old with someday so they will have each other when I’m not here anymore.

I feel like I can’t get a little bean to stick and it’s seriously starting to kill me.

And even more so the few people I did tell are adding so much stress and pressure with their thoughts and opinions.

Sorry I don’t know what I want or need from this post other than just to vent.

Sending baby dust to you all 🌈💫💫💫🌈🌙