Husband wants sex all the time.

My husband wants to have sex all.the.time. I believe it's a birth control issue but my drive is not anywhere near his. He keeps getting depressed because I'll say no. And when I'm horny, he isn't. He asks for hand jobs but uses kinky phrases that make me not want to. It does nothing to me other than make my hand tired and makes me get out of our warm bed again to wash up. Any tips to make him happy or get me to bump up my drive?