I’m torn on what I want.

Okay here’s the tea: I’m 29 (going on 30 in a few months) and I’m starting to get baby fever 🤦🏼‍♀️ I truly never thought this would happen haha. I’m not ready for a baby this minute, but within a few years for sure! So I’m wanting to date more seriously now and wanting someone with similar goals (long term, marriage, kids, financially stable).

So I downloaded hinge 🤦🏼‍♀️ out of boredom one night and matched with a guy who had up until a few months prior lived in the apartment above me for the past year. We would walk past each other daily for a year straight and it never went more than a smile and saying “hi”. I was previously in a relationship and he said on the app if he knew I was single he would have talked to me because he had a huge crush on me. We immediately exchanged numbers online and started texting nonstop.

From our prior interactions I knew he had a daughter and an ex (clearly). I knew he had her every other day, which I thought was really awesome they had 50/50. It attracted me he was/is SUCH a good dad.

Here’s what I know now after dating for a few months in:

-he’s not divorced yet (it’s actually tomorrow 👌🏻) him and his wife have been separated for a year and a half

-he had/has been contemplating getting a vasectomy - when I told him that I wanted a kid someday of my own he said that he was open to it, he just didn’t want his daughter to ever have to fight for attention from another child someday. 🧐 I don’t bring up kids with him more than two times because it’s too soon, but I was going through dealbreakers with him a few nights ago and said cheating, not wanting marriage, and not wanting a kid with me someday were mine. He made me clarify again that it had to be mine, and when I said yes he said that he could do that probably but down the road. Normally I would be okay with that answer, but I think he truly doesn’t want more, and that’s his right, but I don’t want to find that out when I’m 32 and too deep in love to leave.

- because he does 50/50 parenting, they do a switch off every other day. This makes it extremely difficult to see him unless it’s late at night or his ex has her for a day and a half/two days in a row. I like my me time, but I have TOO much now! I’m getting the feels for him and it’s hard. I just had two weeks off of work for winter break (work in a school), and I literally only saw him twice. And one of those times was a booty call on Christmas night... the guy doesn’t take me on dates! Literally never. It’s not about sex though, I made him hang out with me 10+ times before I let him have me in that way. I am getting emotionally frustrated though with him. For Christmas I said I didn’t want a gift, I just wanted a date night and it still hasn’t happened. 😒

- his ex is constantly texting him. She has been in a long term relationship with his ex best friend for the past year and a half (why they are getting divorced). And she still is texting him about non-related kid stuff. He said he’s completely over her and hates her, but they still co parent well which is nice. But... she will text him in the middle of the night while we are together and it’s a bit much.

- I haven’t met the daughter yet, which I completely respect and appreciate due to us being still newly dating. But I like to talk about her a lot with him because she is so important and I want him to know I know that. I asked if and when he is madly in love with me and it has been another couple of months out into the future if I could meet her someday. And he responded “I don’t want to rush that, but maybe”. Just thought that was an odd response.

He’ll text me nonstop all day that he misses me, and wants to be my person but doesn’t show it.

Long story short if you made it here.... have you/would you date a divorced man with a child if you have never been married or had children yourself?