I’m currently on day 5 of being broken up with. I definitely still have feelings for my ex, I mean hell, the last thing I said before he ended it was “I’m going to give you space like you need and not be annoying. Just know I love you.” We're attempting to stay friends, I am aware it's a strictly "friends", if u wanna call it that, situation. He does tend to be more disinterested in talking to me, when he was the one who reached out to me first post-breakup andddd was the one who broke up with me. The reason being he needed time for himself, which to me means "I'm sorry I lost feelings and ohh look at that all these girls wanna be friends yeah let's go friend them now and move on fast"... obviously I'm still hurt and overthinking. At the same time, I feel the feelings of an old crush coming back up, and I’m scared to let it. I keep telling anyone who attempts to speak to me that I’m not worth their time, and that there are people 100x better than me. I don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t want to be feeling these feelings because I don’t want to hurt someone. I don’t want to move on fast because then does that I mean I never had feelings for my ex in the first place? Of all the 7 guys I’ve dated, he was my longest, and only one I had wanted to stay. There was just something about him, ya know? Great personality, just that alone made him amazing. Perfect. And ofc he had dark hair and blue eyes 😍. He was my type. And this other guy, the one I feel myself liking, he has an amazing personality and I’ve known him for years, and he’s cute and funny and just someone I would want to be with. But we are friends. I don’t wanna risk that, don’t wanna get rejected either... because ion know if he has a gf, but I so badly plan on asking for his snap like tomorrow.

Why is this so confusing?

Why am I just setting myself up to get hurt again?