So I was diagnosed with C-PTSD 3 years ago. Since then I’ve had two children. My anxiety and flash backs are really starting to pop up since my daughter is two now and does things that are pretty triggering to me. I was sexually abused as a child and though I do not remember it because I was so little. The things I used to do as a child suggest I was molested before the age of 3. I remember around 4-5 years old sticking things inside my vagina. What 4 year old Does this? My mother is extremely abusive and I’m 100% sure she has borderline personality disorder. She never though this was strange and try to figure out what was going on. Instead she forced me to go to doctors that made me undress in front of them which was even more traumatizing to a child tat age. When I was 17 I finally confessed I am positive I was raped as a child and she laughed at me and told me I was lying. The next day in public she proceeds to say “oh yeah she thinks she was raped hahahaha” to my grandmother. Needless to say this is just scratching the surface of what happened to me.

To get to the point. My daughter is starting to “discover” herself which I’m told is normal for a 2 year old and its super triggering to me. I am starting to imagine people doing horrible things to her like what they did to me and it gives me anxiety attacks. I have kept it quiet and not told my husband any of this because I don’t feel comfortable telling anyone honestly. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared to go to a therapist because my anxiety makes me think they are going to take my children away from me. Please any advice would be great.