Long story:

So me and this guy had been talking for a long time. We both started falling for each other. He always asked me to go places, took care of me when I was drunk, we both had the same views and goals on what we wanted in the future.

5 days from Christmas I got a text that 2 of his best friends had got in a dirt bike accident. Both of the boys passed away. He watched the wreck happen and attempted CPR on both of them but couldn’t revive them because they were dead on impact. (He’s also an EMT so)

Since then Ive checked up on him to make sure he’s okay, he’s been very short and doesn’t respond when the conversation got dry.

Then, last Thursday he ended things with me saying he couldn’t focus on a relationship right now. (which is completely understandable) He thanked me for coming to the visitation and told me he was going to counseling.

We bought each other Christmas gifts are were supposed to go to each other’s family Christmases. But when I had found out about the accident I ordered a blanket with their picture on it. And I just gave it to one of his friends what works close to where I live (because we live 30 mins away from each other) we haven’t talked to each other in 9 days and it’s killing me.

I break down everyday because I miss him so much and it’s killing me not to be with him and comfort him. I really don’t know what to do. I’m torn apart. Do I wait for him or ?? I’m so lost. Someone please give me advice. This is the hardest thing I’ve been through, I can’t be mad at him, I can’t leave him even though he said we’re done as of rn. He said that we weren’t done forever. But this is just tearing me up. He’s the first guy I’ve had really strong feelings for since I got my heart broken a couple years ago.