I want to start this post by saying I realize that women try for a baby much longer than 9 cycles and that I have no idea what it feels like to be them or to have tried and tried for years and have no baby. I have a 2 year old son and I am so lucky and so blessed to have him and at the end of this if I don’t ever end up pregnant I am still so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing little guy to call mine.

When I got pregnant with my son my husband and I knew NOTHING about the ttc journey or even tracking my cycles. We literally just said ok we will come off the BC and have sex regular. He and I were both working full time and we honestly didn’t change our lifestyle. We had a “give it to God” mentality and I was a smoker and occasionally drinking. This went on for YEARS and it was ultimately forgotten about. One day I noticed my boobs were really sore. In the middle of the night to pee I would have to hold them while I walked to the bathroom. I was pregnant and I underwent a complete lifestyle change and total excitement realizing I was about to be a mother. I quit smoking/drinking, I ate healthy, I took vitamins and attended all doctors visits.

My son is almost 2 and we have tried EVERYTHING by the book this time for the past 9 months to give him a sibling. I am on a heathy diet, vitamins, I’m opk testing... I’m getting clear blazing positives every month..,

I am so tired of seeing negatives. I am so pissed off.

I BELIEVE IN GOD. In his perfect timing.. but I’m human and I’m so impatient.

I’m just ranting bc I’m sitting here at 7 dpo, I have sore breasts and heartburn and I already know it’s negative. I keep telling myself it’s not happy. It’s normal PMS symptoms. I am to the point of screaming bc my husband says to me yesterday.. “ we wanted another baby so that they would be close in age and grow up together, when do we call it and say the gap is too big and we stop?”

My heart is breaking and I’m feeling this urgency to get pregnant

Aggravated

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