Is my partner a bad father?!

I was absolutely positive that this man would be the best father ever. Seeing how he interacted with children, the way he spoke about becoming a father, the way he was as a person himself really made me believe that he would be awesome.

Boy was I wrong..

I gave birth to our son who is now 14 months old and I am now 33 weeks pregnant with another boy(how dumb of me to have another baby in this situation). Ever since our son was born, I did everything alone. My partner didn’t help me at all. Wouldn’t wake up to feed the baby, no diaper changes, didn’t want to interact with him. Our son was never the easiest. He was colicky and cried and cried. FOR EVERYTHING. I tried talking to my partner. Men can get postpartum depression too, so I thought maybe his mental health was going downhill. I tried my very best to give him time to adjust to being a first time father. I tried encouraging him and telling him how great of a father he was. I tried giving him alone time with the baby. Nothing worked. Nothing changed for the better, instead it got worse.

Our son is 1 years old now, and my partner has such a short fuse with him. He says something is mentally wrong with our little one because he whines and cries too much. He gets sooo frustrated and angry when our son wakes up in the morning. Calls our son retarded. Tells him to stop acting like a bitch💔 gets mad when he has to feed him. Doesn’t help take him to daycare, doesn’t really interact with him other than rough him up while “playing” which makes baby boy cry. Says my son is too old to be acting like the way he does. Blames me for our son being “difficult”. I’m afraid to leave the kids with him now. I feel like he will neglect them and lose his shit and does God knows what! He always tries to force our son to sleep so he doesn’t have to deal with him. Whenever I try to intervene, he spazzes on me and disrespects me. Smh. That’s not even the last. I’m not even excited to give birth to our second child. I’m afraid of what it will be like. I’m afraid of doing this alone all over again. I’m afraid of going through a depression. This man used to be so sweet, loving, attentive. Now he is just so mean and aggressive. Feels like I’m walking on eggshells. I don’t even know who he is anymore. I want to leave him so bad. I have no family. No friends. I live in south jersey and the shelters here suck. He says if I leave with the kids, he will get custody of them, so I stay😥😓 He quit a total of six jobs in 2019 which caused us to get evicted. I’ve always worked but I couldn’t keep up with the rent and bills due to not having a good income. Now we are living with his parents. In one tiny room. He got fired from Amazon. He plays video games all day and sleeps. His license is suspended from unpaid tickets so he uses the excuse of “I can’t get a job cus I can’t drive”. I can take him so that’s an excuse. I’m about to give birth soon and don’t even have everything for the baby. I applied for housing so that I can get out of here and leave him but it’s a process and will take a while. I feel sooo ashamed and terrible for having children with this man. I really thought he was my person. I thought he would be an awesome dad. I tried talking to him many times to see if he’s going through something but our talks go nowhere. I cry every single day. I just want to disappear with my babies. 💔💔