So around late July I saw this guy on Facebook, (we're gonna call him D) and i thought he was cute so i added him. I didnt expect him to hmu but he did, and we really hit it off. He started video calling me a lot, anyways 1 day i heard this girl in the background (we immediately became besties, she was dating D's brother.) I also was informed that his ex was still in the picture, she held him down after he got out of jail and they were on n off, but he made it seem like they were done done, but she helped his family out lots. So i didnt think much of it. We would talk on the phone a lot, and he would always want me doing something sexual or he'd ask what i had on, and he didnt really take no for an answer,, but i didnt think much of it.

Anyways a few weeks passed and we finally met up in person, by this point i had already fallen in love with him, but i was heavily in denial. Me and my (now ex) bff went over to see him and his brother. Some of his cousins came up to smoke that night too. I was still 17 at the time, and D was 19 so he said we couldnt fuck, but that night neither of us could really resist so we did and it was amazing. We prolly fucked like 4 times that night/morning. So for a while we were fine, then one day he decided to cut things off, so i blocked him on everything. Anyways, 1 of his cousins hmu, and since i was mad i sent him videos (even tho im really no like that, and i immediately regretted it) I thought we were over forever, that night D harrassed my bff until she put me in a call with him, and i cussed him out, i didnt want him back, but i gave in bc i love him, anyways me and D were on n off for about a month, i always blocked him, he always made my bestie get me to talk to him.

So this is where all the bullshit began.

So for his bday he wanted to see me, so he got a hotel room for me, him, my bestie, and his cousin (the one i sent vids to) and we all had a good night, that night D asked me if i love him.

TRIGGER WARNING

So a few days later his actual bday came, so the 4 of us linked and we went to a park. We chilled for a while, then me and D fucked, buy while we were doing it he started asking if id wanna have a 3sum with a dude, and i said yes in the moment (bc he had mentioned 3sums with another girl before, and i wanted to be able to keep up with him, bc i didnt want him to leave me.) I dont even like the idea of 3sums, but i said it anyways. Then he started talking about how i was about to do it, and i was freaking out, i had to talk like i was okay with what he was trying to set up, but i was obviously not. I was barely speaking and when i did i couldnt control myself. So he told his cousin to "test" me. I didnt even want to do it, but i kinda just stood there and let it happen, he didnt fuck me. He used his hand, but its like he was trying to fit his whole hand in me. I was so loud, but it wasnt bc i enjoyed it. I wanted to scream. D and my bff were standing beside us (he promised he wouldn't fuck her but he wanted to finger her or whatever.) So i looked over and he was tryna stick it in. So i walked tf off (partially bc that was my ticket out of what was happening atm, and bc i was mad.) Anyways that night got really bad bc i broke down and started tryna walk off on my own, but he wouldnt let me. He kept grabbing me n shit, telling me he loves me. I didnt wanna be touched. Then he told mw it was a test and i failed, and from there i got way more upset. I went home that night, and i remember he told me i was a whore at some point, then when he found out i sent vids to his cuz; he blew the fuck up on me and called me a whore for 4+ hours, told me he hated me, was gonna tell everyone im for the gang, and threatened me nd my family. So he went back to his ex.

*My timeline is a lil fucked up here.

So i cut him off. Stayed away the best i could, but i was still running back no matter how he used me. Sometime around this time i got raped for the first time, totally unrelated to D.

He hmu one day saying he wanted to fuck for my 18th bday. And i was down, but after i got raped i cancelled on him.

So he hmu saying him n his gf needed a gf. I knew he wanted 2 gfs. Even tho i knew it would kill me i did it, so we linked and we were just supposed to chill the first time, not fuck. But he wanted to , so i did it. It killed me seeing him fuck her. I remember we all hungout 1 more time n we got a hotel, and i just remember feeling very uncomfortable with the way my body was being used.

Long story short we broke up, bc said to choose and i thought he chose her so i blocked him, he was gonna chose me. So after that i got really depressed bc him and her stayed together, and i went and got my first job.

For a while i was doing good about not needing him, then 1 day i got drunk n unblocked him and he picked me up that night, we linked a few more times. In november he picked me up 1 night with the cousin who assaulted me. And he wanted me to fuck them. Idk how i feel about this night, they werent really respecting my boundaries. And i dont like being pimped out. I got very very depressed.

**another trigger warning

Recently my (now ex) bff, me, D, his cousin (S), and his other cousin (K) got a hotel room, it was supposed to be me, d, s, and my bestie, but D brought K too. That night me and D were fucking and he told me to be quiet, and bc i wasnt quiet enough he told K to come over here. And i started panicking. I was begging him not to bc i was tired of being pimped out. So D started holding me down and fucking me even tho i didnt want to anymore. I had tears in my eyes, i just asking him to go talk to me. And he'd be like "we can talk" but he still had his dick in me. He finally talked to me, and he wanted to fuck my bestie. Made a deal with me he'd never make me do another 3 sum with him. So i agreed later that night after i had a panic attack in front of him, then he said he was leaving bc i wouldnt let him. No matter what it was happening. No getting out of it.