Falling back or growing ?

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I really thought 2020 would start off happier and healthy

Well , I had self harmed and dealt with depression and anxiety I started to loose my self . But something about the new year made me realize I matter . I improved over a few months so I knew this year was going to be my year .. sadly something happened and made me feel so hurt and invaluable that I reached for a razor .. but I don’t want too do that anymore . I want to be the better me