Why is my husband acting like shit

Question

Hello ladies , 
It’s 6 am in New York and I just fed my Baby , she doesn’t want to sleep 😌 I’m not feeling well cause of the things my husband said to me the night before bed. 
We have a great relationship, 3 years together, married for 1 1/2 years and have a beautiful 3 months old baby girl! 
Lately, he started acting like a complete jerk for no reason.  saying I’m gonna go far far far far away. Yesterday , he told me that I don’t make him happy , I’m stubborn , I don’t give him anymore attention, he is depressed and I don’t see it , he is taking antibiotics for some bacteria in his belly.  Meanwhile, I have no family near me , everyone is like 2-3 hours away from me. I’m alone , taking care of the baby, cleaning , cooking , taking care of him. He wants me to work , but I can’t leave my baby right now , with who !? Daycare is expensive and my baby is only 3 months old. He keeps making fun of me that I still have my baby fat .. and I won’t plan on losing that weight. After the doctor approved I started working out , my baby didn’t like my breast milk and would always puke 🤮, I connected the doctor and she said it’s due to working out and sweating, it’s makes it sour for her to eat. I stopped working out for a little. He thinks it’s just an excuse. Instead of supporting me , he makes me feel insecure. Last night I asked him If he wants us out of his life ?  and he can do whatever he wants. He said “no “ and just wouldn’t answer me and kept saying I need to sleep , I have to go to work.  I cried myself to sleep. 
Before I had the baby, I would help him with everything . Now I want to be more with my child , she’s my first baby. I don’t want to miss her first on everything . I want to be present in her first year. I love him very much and appreciate everything he does , but I think he needs to step up and help me a little around the house and with the baby , each time I tell him can you feed her I just pumped , I’m tired of holding her ... he would say  “no, I had a long day at work today , lately here and there he would change her , but I want it more. I need help . His mom is a complete jerk and I feel like she’s the one brainwashing him. She called and told him , let’s go on a vacation with me for 2 weeks... 
I will be super upset ... if he leaves me and the baby and go on a vacation with his mother. Instead of saying, hey do you guys need help with the baby ... SHE WANTS TO GO ON A VACATION With my husband , and I’m telling him .. are you not married ?? We just had a baby .. what vacation is your mother talking about ... let her find a boyfriend and go with her friends . 
I’m just overwhelmed, I have no friends. Since , I got married and moved out .. all my fiends distance from me and I haven’t seen them since ;( I needed to take some things off my chest.

Answer

Firstly you both sound shattered and frankly with a 3 month old I'm not at all surprised your both feeling the strain, bless you! Can I start by saying your doing an amazing job. Well done!
From previous experience you both need some downtime together away from work, baby, house, chores, etc. I appreciate it feels impossible to be away from baby atm, but in order to sort out your relationship you need to rediscover each other and spend time together, playing and flirting like I'm sure you once did. It's much easier looking after baby when you're both refreshed and working together, but it's easy to drift apart when you're both exhausted or feel resentful if you feel like you're doing more than the other.
Might sound obvious but they are not mind readers, and what might seem obvious to us isn't always to them - infuriating I know lol! Think men are from Mars, women are from venus ;) sometimes we have to literally tell them what we want. 'I dont want you to leave me alone to look after the baby', 'I really want to spend some time just you and me', 'I find it hard to leave the baby but you're important to me too so when we go away I'm going to need your support as I'm going to find leaving the baby hard'.
Take my advice and arrange a night or two away, doesnt have to be expensive or far. Explain to maybe your family that you both need a break and would really appreciate it if they could help out (maybe over a long weekend?). Even if you cant go away immediately, arrange something in the next couple of months so you both know theres something nice and positive coming up. Make it flirty banter, 'I'm really looking forward to getting away with you', 'wont it be lovely just you and me', 'just think in X weeks we're going away', 'I know we're both tired but at least we can get some sleep when we go away', 'imagine 8 hours uninterrupted sleep!', 'just think we'll be hands free!'. It will give you both a boost energy wise, he will appreciate you reaching out to him and will give you the opportunity to talk gently about how you feel and expectations regarding baby/work/etc. I'd suggest using phrases like 'I feel like I need more help with the baby'  rather than 'you need to do more to help me with the baby' as it will be received much better.
Take the opportunity to flirt, hold hands and listen to each other. I'm sure he loves you very much and it sounds like you love him too. I hope things improve for you, and again you're doing an amazing job x

Answer

Wow. I would try to ask him more about his life. Maybe there's something you're not seeing that's really stressing him out or something. Otherwise he might just be a dick and you didn't realise until now. When you're with someone long enough, their true colors start to show. Look into it.

Answer

When I first started reading this I remembered reading an article about how men/fathers can sometimes become jealous after a baby is born bc the mother devotes a lot of her attention to the baby. Not saying it's right or wrong but maybe you guys need to meet in the middle and try spending more time together (after baby goes to sleep, naps). However his comments are rude and uncalled for. I'd try communicating with him all of the issues you described and see if it makes a difference. Ya never know how hes feeling inside unless you talk it out.

Answer

Since he told you he is depressed I'd tackle that issue first. Depression does not always present as low energy/can't get out of bed/crying etc. It can often manifest as anger and irritability especially in men. Acknowlege he has said this and work with him to get an appointment scheduled with his GP if he needs a referral or wirh a counsler/therapist if not. If he has an EAP through work use that as a resource to find someone.

Answer

Try reading baby proofing your marriage

Why is my husband acting like shit

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