Weight loss buddy’s?

Question

I one this is a chat for plus size and SEXY. But I’m plus sized and don’t feel sexy. Anyone else feel that way???  Like I a big girl, considered obese for my age. All my friends 130 or less (in high school) and anyone one here want to be workout buddy’s ages 15-17 would be ideal but any age is fine. If you want to be weigh loss buddy’s message me because I know if I have no one to motivate me I will never get￼￼￼ to the point I want...

Answer

Well I’m not your age but maybe I can help. I’m actually 41. But I have been in your shoes. All your friends look like cheerleaders and you feel like the duff (designates ugly fat friend) that only amplifies their beauty even more that gets ignored etc. or you are the fat jolly one. Or the one that you like a boy but the boy ends up dating your friend instead and it’s a knife to the chest. Boys suck. Been plus size since the beginning. Still am, but not like I used to be at least. After a 5 year relationship ended in December 2017, I dropped almost 100 pounds just walking and eating better. I’m the laziest dieter ever ever. I don’t meal prep or cook or sweat or go to the gym anything remotely hard or inconvenient, if it was inconvenient then it wasn’t for me. Weight loss is begins with mindset. It’s mostly psychological it really is. We set ourselves up for failure by creating expectations or setting hard to reach goals or meeting a goal and quitting and gaining it all back or starting and quitting when we plateau or pick a diet that is so restrictive that it’s hard to sustain. We chase the scale or become obsessed with the number on it or the size of our pants. It’s not what you can’t have it’s what you can have instead. It’s finding alternatives. It’s not starving or depriving yourself. It’s not a diet that’s temporary but it’s a lifestyle change. The scale is just a guide. Something is better than nothing even is you lose 1/10th of a pound yay. Sometimes you gain and that’s on too it’s not like you have not weighed that before. Learning not to be so hard on yourself is a big one to learn. Step 1 is mindset. Find your reason and that becomes your motivation and goal and fuels you to keep moving forward. Step 2 is nutrition. What worked best for me was high protein, high fiber and low sugar, low salt and mostly granola bars for bread carbs. It’s cutting out the junk food. Always keeping healthy snack with you. We are all creatures of convenience hence fast food and snack machines but if it’s with you then there’s less chance of you reaching for the junk food. Start slow. Don’t make a 180 turn over night or you will be miserable. Nutrition is 80/20 finding a balance of foods that nourish your body and the 20 is some wiggle room, holidays, lady time etc. life happens celebrations happen just because you are watching what you eat doesn’t mean you stop living. It’s 80/20 the biggest being nutrition, Exercise is only 20%. It’s understandable how it can add up quickly. 1 can of soda a day for a year is 15 pounds gained in just soda alone. And on top of that if it has Caramel coloring like coke or Pepsi, it’s probably giving you pimples too. I eat regular food. I don’t promote any program or shake or pills etc. I attached some of the things that I have and not all of it it’s just a sample, I have other things too. Step 3 is move your body. Find what works best for you. If it’s fun then there is less chance that you will dread or avoid it. For me, I knew myself that I would have found any excuse not to go to the gym from bad weather to too many people to costing too much etc. at home the only excuse was me. So I put on music and I had fun step together step together in place and around my kitchen dancing. It was my me time and escape from reality. I walked at home and the mall and grocery stores. And shopping and buying clothes was my reward or songs on iTunes etc. Like I said in the beginning it is more psychological than anything. Take it 5 pounds at a time as your goal. You tackle each 5 pounds as it comes. We all have a size or a big number in our head that seems light years away which can be discouraging. Don’t set a time line either that I have to lose this much by this date. And if you don’t then you get sad and want to quit. Just be in the moment. 5 pounds at a time. One meal at a time, one day at a time. You can do anything that you put your mind to. Another thing that is big for women especially is our emotions. Lady time, a boy breaks our heart, you fight with friends or parents or siblings. A lot of us emotional eat or eat out of boredom. Learning to channel your feelings differently from journaling or screaming into a pillow or yoga or exercise or remembering all the hard work that you already put in and repeating over and over again it’s not worth it. We all have triggers. Mine is my mother. Even after losing almost 100 pounds she still calls me fatass daily. My heaviest was 350, I was size 32. Size 50dd bra. I’m now in the 250’s size 16 pants 40dd and I have kept it off. I didn’t have an easy life. My dad died when I was 4. Sexual abuse as a child. Rape as a teen. I started drinking a lot at 12. From one abusive relationship to the next. My last ex I gained 100 pounds with between eating out every night and 2 miscarriages. While he used me for money you name it and proudly told me that he slept with over 250 women in the 5 years that we were together. Blessing in disguise that I never had kids with him and never have to deal with him ever again. You are better off alone than in bad company. Life is less complicated without other people complicating it. Life is what you make it, if you aren’t happy, you change what you can and what you can’t change, you learn to love, accept and embrace yourself flaws and all. I loved myself the same at 350 as I do now. A man doesn’t complete you or define you nor the the number on the scale or the size of your pants nor dictates your happiness. You do. You complete and define yourself. Happiness comes from within. Not likes or scores or number of followers. You aren’t superficial, you don’t need other people’s acceptance or approval. You are beautiful inside and out. Other people’s opinions are dust in the wind and don’t matter. The only opinion that matters is your opinion. Who you are. Don’t ever let anyone steal your sunshine. You gotta have the everyone can kiss your butt attitude or everything people say will bring you down. My favorite Elenor Roosevelt quote is no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. They can’t take away your sunshine. Dust in the wind. They don’t matter. Whatever. Their loss. You are an amazing woman. You’ve got this. I’m here if you need to talk or need words of encouragement.

Weight loss buddy’s?

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