Dilemma 😔

Hey everybody , Soooo I been in my relationship with my son father for going on 4 years. I been thru hellllll and back with him he is a drinker and he acts uppppp to where it gets physical sometimes. Ugh the amount of stress, blood and tears I've had this relationship I just want it to be over but he WONT leave and plus I'm super emotional I will start to feel bad ugh I need to get over that. I have talked with him about my feelings of not being happy but he DOESN'T listen so I started talking to an old ex of mine and it is Soo innocent but we talk and it makes me happy for once just to be able to have a decent convo like my bf doesn't make me happy he always puts me down and then gets bipolar and wants to love me again like it's a rollercoaster and I'm so over the ride. So yeah I was talking with this guy and what do you know my bf goes digging in my messages and finds out and now he is going ballistic and treating me bad and calling me names like im so over it but idk what to do y'all? I'm at work right now and he's home but usually if I go home it will turn into world war 3 so I'm scared and don't know what to do😔😔 any advice ladies