Supposed to be a happy time

My baby is 4 weeks old and I still find myself crying and being emotional. I was very emotional during my pregnancy with her. Her father didn’t really understand and wasn’t really helpful instead he would maybe stop tlkn to me for a few days or call me names and tell me that i was in my feelings too much as if I didn’t already know that and just wanted some consoling. But it’s kinda the same thing now tht she’s here as well . He was there during her birth and maybe a week and a few days after but recently hasn’t been around and the other day I said something to him that obviously offended him but he won’t admit it but won’t talk to me either smh and he’s just making this whole experience of motherhood hard I want to be happy but can’t find happiness because I feel like I shouldn’t be struggling with her. She cries all the time even when we’re out in public she barely sleeps I can barely get anything done it’s just saddening and then I feel helpless. With my sons I lived with their dad and he’d help out plus they never really cried like she does . It’s just hard for me right now and every second I just feel like crying and now I just found out I go back to work on the 19th of February and haven’t found a place for daycare and he isn’t helping with that Either 🤦🏾‍♀️😭 and I don’t want her going just anywhere

I just can’t do this alone but looks like I don’t have a choice smh . Smh and just last week he got a job and didn’t even let me know he’d rather me ask him than him just coming right out and telling me smh making up excuses as to why he can’t come and see her

You’re not at work for a whole day you can come and see her after wrk it’s not that hard 🤦🏾‍♀️😭.. I just almost failed the postpartum depression test at my doctors office I was one point off and now she wants to see me back next Friday to follow up on my symptoms 😭😩😔 it’s just stressful thinkin somebody would be there but they aren’t