So here’s the situation ladies! My wonderful husband and I have been together for ten years, married for 6 of those. He has been the light of my life since I was 18 and I can’t imagine being without him. But recently we have been butting heads over the issue of adoption. I’m hoping some of you have been in a similar situation so you can advise me.

We have always wanted kids. We talked about it on our first date. We wanted 3, we have their names picked out and we bought a house with 3 spare bedrooms so that we would be ready when it happened. Then we found out 2 years ago that I am infertile.

I feel that adoption is the answer, but my husband won’t hear me out. He had a child with his ex many years ago and his ex accused him of abuse, removed the child from his care and broke his heart. He hasn’t been allowed to see either of them for 13 years. He had a nervous breakdown as a result and has had a difficult time recovering.

He says the idea of potentially being turned down, or having an adoption fall through, would bring back all the pain of losing his daughter. He thinks it would bring back his depression and ruin his life. Instead he offered to get us another dog to fulfil my needs. But that’s not enough for me.

I want to either stop feeling so broody, or to convince him to come around. I don’t think there is any middle ground for us and the idea of not having children is a real deal breaker for me. But the idea of walking away from him kills me. I only ever wanted two things out of life and now I feel like I’m being asked to choose between them.

Have any of you been through this with your significant others?