I’m so jealous of the women that meet men who already know what they want, ready to find the one they want to be with for the rest of their lives.

I see so many posts on social media (yeah I know this is why social media isn’t a healthy place to linger around) of people who meet the love of their life and know after about as quickly as A YEAR to decide they’re truly in love with each other and want to get married.

I look at my 4 year relationship, and yes we are happy with each other, but there is something about my boyfriend that somewhat tells he isn’t crazy enough for me as those husbands / boyfriends drooling over their wives / girlfriends. My boyfriend doesn’t seem to know how to be romantic no matter how much I have straight up told him how he could be! I know I can be super sweet and romantic, but if he does not really do the same, then it doesn’t really feel the same...or equal...and it feels like the lack of a spark. I see these men who are in love showing off their fiancé / wife all over social media and I feel happy to see it, but at the same time it makes me sad, because that is something I’d like to have someday...and maybe I won’t have it from my current relationship. Maybe it’s a way’s away? I am already 33 years old.

I wonder, what do those women have that I don’t have? Am I lacking something? Am I not beautiful enough? I feel like I do have enough to offer. I know I am enough for myself, but what about enough for anybody else? Lol I am beginning to sound dramatic...but there are so many questions!