Why do people have children?

Question

I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first child and have been sat here wondering why people actually have children. 
I can’t wait for our little girl to arrive but I can genuinely say, since finding out - all people tell me is “how hard it’s going to be” / “how you have to say goodbye to sleep” / “how there’s no more YOU time” / “how giving birth is the worst pain you’ll ever feel” etc. I could go on. Hardly anyone has actually told me positive things. So it got me wondering, if it’s THAT bad then why in the hell to people even have babies?  
I’m not trying to be thick/naive or patronising to anyone out there I’m genuinely curious and want to be prepared. 
I’m sure it’s going to be really hard, I’m sure parenting isn’t easy and sleep deprivation is real but can people not talk about the positives? It’s making me so scared that I’m not going to be able to cope! I know many people have children and they cope just fine and in-fact it’s only the ones who have children that are so negative about everything all the time. I’ve always wanted to be a mum and can’t wait to have our little girl here and be a family and I’m sure there are days where you really struggle but people do it and people cope just fine. 
Sorry if this post sounds ridiculous but the way people go on I just think why does anyone have them if it’s SO hard?

Answer

I can honestly say bring a parent is the absolute hardest thing I've ever done, it is emotionally and mentally exhausting. Much harder than I thought it would be. The physically exhausting part isn't what I personally find hard, it's the emotions and mental strain that gets to me. I worry about my children from sun up to sun down. Are they eating enough? Enough vitamins and minerals? Enough water day? Enough stimulation? Are they hitting their milestones? That toy looks dangerous. Did that woman wash her hands before she touched my baby? Are they happy? What if someone picks on them in school? Etc etc it is exhausting. 
I've just had my second and praying for a 3rd next year. Why? Because it is also the most rewarding thing I've ever done. Yesterday I was feeding my youngest while my eldest and I were doing some arts and crafts. She was sticking foam shapes on paper and having the time of her life. She was smiling and laughing and it was a lovely moment. At the same time my youngest was looking at me with his big eyes while I was feeding him and he was content. I live for these moments of bliss lol. 
I also think ahead to when they are older and I've a house full of people for the holidays and when these moments of bliss happen for completely different reasons, weddings, grandchildren, graduations etc. 
Everyone handles parenting differently but I won't lie and tell someone it's all sunshine and rainbows because it's not. At least not in my experience. I'll always say it's amazing but extremely hard. And while at the time I hated being told all the difficult parts before my baby had even arrived... when I was in the thick of it and struggling it was in those moments that I truly appreciated being told about how hard it was because it meant I wasn't crying my eyes out thinking I was the worst mother in the world. I knew that everyone felt the same because they had told me it all already. It wasn't a surprise when baby wouldn't sleep and wasn't eating and he was crying while I cried lol, I knew it might happen already.

Answer

I think the reason tell you about the bad stuff is so your not surprised when it happens.
Having my daughter and becoming a mum is the most hardest thing I've ever done, but I wound change a thing all the bad/hard parts about being a parent is nothing compared to the love I feel for her.
Every day I'm just like wow, sometimes it's wow how can you have so much energy after no sleep last night but more often than not it's wow how have you grown so much as a little person.

Photo for cuteness.

Answer

If you didn’t hear the negatives (the reality of it all) when it happened you would be like why didn’t anyone tell me, trust me because I was that person. 
Having our son was the most amazing thing we’ve ever done and yes it was hard but life is hard so what can you expect 🤷‍♀️ 
He took 5 years to conceive and bubba I’m pregnant with now took 7 so it makes it extra special for us.

Answer

I wouldn't say parents cope just fine. Being a parent is soooooo hard. Without any support I'd say nearly impossible. You will need help, you will need time to yourself. And don't ever feel shy to take time for yourself. 
Yes, parents cope. But with hard work, sacrifice and effort. So definitely not just fine. It gets a little easier as you get more sleep though.
But I still want to walk out the door sometimes for a few hours or scream into a pillow lol
Parenthood isn't all bad, it's also beautiful. But truly, the difficult phases are more than the nice once. But you hold onto the nice moments more!

Answer

Totally agree! All I keep hearing is the negatives! Definitely makes it even scarier.

Answer

Whilst all of those negatives are there .. believe me adjusting to becoming a mother was a journey in itself, but you begin to see their little personalities and how happy they are to see you when they smile just because you’re their or they laugh at the silliest things and it really is the most beautiful , precious moment in life that you can’t experience with anyone else but your child. The love you have for them is unconditional and my son amazes me every single day. So yes it is hard but so rewarding at the same time and 100% worth the sleepless nights because when my son was sleeping through the night and could get himself to sleep I missed that bonding time we had together when he would wake up

Answer

The good times outweigh the bad. Those little smiles 🥰

Answer

Before my husband and I got married we had to do this marriage course as we wanted to get married in our local church. They asked us about wanting children, and asked us to discuss and write down, exactly as you just asked,... Why...?
I was surprised by my husband's answer, which was "legacy" it made me laugh at the time. Passing on his genes and having the next generation carrying on family tradition is important to him (God you'd think he was a Prince or something hahaha we have sailing trophies with family members from like 5 generations written on them, that kind of thing)
For me it was a desire to love, nurture and raise a child, and to add another dimension to our family that we otherwise would not do. I had an awful childhood, my husband had a wonderful one, so it's so important to use both to raise our child to have the best childhood we can give him.
It's the little things - I can't wait to experience flowers and butterflies in the park through his eyes with such wonder, I'd never get to do that if I didn't have my little boy. Teaching him to walk and ride a bike. 
We still do all the things we did before too. We love to travel, and went road tripping around Europe in our camper van for a month this summer just gone when boy was five months old.
Life is just "better" now. I can't explain it. I'm sorry yovue had such negative responses from real life people.

Answer

Don't listen to all the negative Nancy's out there! For some reason, when you're expecting, people with AND without children feel like they can just reel off a load "advice" to you.
Having my son is one of the best things I have ever done and I love being a mum so much, I am now 31 weeks with our 2nd so it can't be that bad! 
Don't get me wrong, when he was first born it was a really rough ride for a while...we had no idea what we were doing, we had no idea a baby would cry so much, we had no idea what he wanted, we were googling everything, we wondered if we would ever be able to eat dinner at the same time as each other again (tag teaming the scream machine) and we walked around like zombies learning how to get by on broken sleep...but when I look at him now and the love we all have for each other I wouldn't change a single thing! 
The best advice I can give - don't listen to anyone else but your gut feeling...and the professionals! Xxx

Answer

It is the most rewarding thing ever!!

Why do people have children?

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