I’m trying my best..

I had a second trimester missed miscarriage( so there wasn’t any pain or bleeding, went to the doctor and the angel baby had no heart beat) and now I’m pregnant again a year later and I just can’t get excited.. I’m 12w1d and I’m just always thinking there’s something wrong and I’m not even happy a little bit. I feel awful and cry about it because I want to be happy but I just can’t... please someone tell me I’m not alone. Is this “normalish?” I feel like a bad person.