Little rant/ I’m confused

Hello. So I am very frustrated by recent happenings in the relationship department but I feel like I also don’t have a reason to be frustrated.

Here’s the long story if y’all are willing to read it!

I’ve had this friend for about 3 years. We started off hating each other and gradually grew to good friendship. We talk ALL the time. He calls me when he wakes up before work “to say hi”, in the middle of the night when I’m at work, texts 24/7 pretty much and finds reasons to visit me at work. We work together but like different areas so not really.

Anyways, of course there have been some flirty times or he’s said some things about us being together, sex etc but I always brushed it off as joking. My best friend works with me and has been watching this situation develop and for months has been pestering me to date him. Well I didn’t think he was interested at all and I wasn’t sure I was. Well about 3 weeks ago I had this crazy sex dream about him.

well after that I look at him differently. We do lean on each other and we’re pretty good for each other as much as I might not want to admit it lol I decided there might be some feelings there and to maybe try a fwb situation. Of COURSE the day I bring it up to him he tells me he just started dating someone (that I know but am not friends with) 2 weeks ago. He got a bit frustrated and kept saying things like “I wish you’d told me sooner,” “if only you’d said something two weeks ago” etc then tells me he has feelings and at any other time would’ve wanted to get together. I said “No, it’s my bad, I didn’t know you were seeing someone or I wouldn’t have brought it up.”

He promises everything will stay normal, no weirdness or anything- and it has. But I feel weird about it because 1) his gf doesn’t know we’re close or have been talking like that for like 8 months (granted long before she was in the picture). 2) if I were her I’d be upset about my bf talking so much to someone else, especially when I’m with him and especially after he admitted wanting to be with her. 3) I feel torn because yes we should be able to continue talking as friends but also I feel it isn’t quite fair to her even though I won’t say/do anything inappropriate. I’ll be honest, I’ve gotten used to him being around all of the time even without the relationship context and I don’t want to lose that and I do want to try a relationship with him but I will not do or say anything while they’re together. I have never cheated and I refuse to- just have to say that!

I can tell now when the friendship aspect kinda stops and his feelings for me are showing and it makes even being casual difficult, like we’re both aware of and ignoring the elephant in the room.

I know he technically didn’t do anything wrong because we were never together and aren’t now. He’s kinda been waiting me out and didn’t know I decided to be ready. But for some reason it’s super frustrating to me and makes me feel a bit crazy. So basically I’m just stuck here waiting for their thing to inevitably end meanwhile I try to keep things the same “friend” level that they’ve been while I know we both have feelings there.

That’s my life, rant over, thanks for the read.