So defeated

Yesterday has spilled over into today, and at this point I’m emotionally drained and feeling defeated.

I’m 3.5 months pregnant and still dealing with the sickness and exhaustion that comes with the first trimester. This is my first child. On top of that, I’ve been extremely sick from allergies, traveling nonstop for work, and working crazy hours.

Last week my husband told me a few things:

1) he told his therapist he wasn’t sure he loved me any more but his therapist made him see he does truly love me but that he feels disconnected because I don’t engage in certain activities with him. Those activities are video games. That.... he never plays. Okay.

2) that I haven’t been supporting him like I used to. Ladies, I used to do all of the house work, laundry, cooking, cleaning, groceries and errands. I still do all of that but if he doesn’t want to eat healthy meals I cook, I don’t cook something different for him. I also wash and dry his laundry but I don’t fold it or hang it any more.

3) even though I plan activities for us, surprises for him, give him all the sex and head he could want, book him massages, give him massages, drive everywhere (bc he doesn’t like driving) and literally do work all day Sunday to keep our house in order while he watches football- he said he doesn’t do things to show his love bc he feels frustrated at my lack of trying to play games with him (which again. He doesn’t ever play).

He recently started the “diet” I’ve been on for a while and I was very hands off at first. When he told me all of this it really made me sad but I decided to try harder. I have been cooking all of his meals when I’m home, helping him plan the meals, I asked a bunch of women for suggestions for video games I might enjoy, etc. I’ve tried really hard this last week and a half to up my game even more to please him and make him feel supported and loved.

Yesterday after I work 2 hours late, and was super sick, I dealt with an hour and a half of traffic and I knew he needed special food from the store, so i went grocery shopping SPECIFICALLY FOR HIM before I came home.

I get home and I know he has a late meeting (he works from home). So I asked him what food he has left to eat (bc his diet requires a certain amount of protein, carbs and veggies) and TO TEXT ME when he’s ready to eat.

He texts back with what he has left and I start putting together a meal with those items. I waited for the text that he was ready to eat. I didn’t want to barge into the meeting when he’s on camera (I did that before on accident and he got upset). So around an hour later his meeting ends and he came out super angry that I didn’t bring him his dinner. I should’ve had enough common sense to know he wanted to eat then, not when he eating was over. I tried talking calmly and he was just so rude. Mocking things I would say, trivializing how awful I felt. He mentioned having a long day and I agreed it was a long day- to which he laughed and said “yeah okay”. He makes $250k a year without bonus. I made $56k. So he doesn’t think I can possibly have a long day or a stressful job because I don’t make what he makes.

Anyway, i didn’t want to argue bc I was still recovering from a 12 hour migraine, all day nausea, and cramps. So, I went and showered. Since then (around 8:30pm) he’s been giving me the silent treatment. Slept upstairs and all. It’s 9am now and he just came down. I asked how he slept- no answer. I told him the doctor called and said our baby tested negative for Down syndrome and all the other genetic testing- no response. He’s now slamming stuff as he makes breakfast for himself and going into his office to work

I truly don’t know what else to do to be the type of wife that’ll make him happy. Honestly, I don’t know if he’s capable of being happy. I’m worn out from trying to be a stay at home house wife and a full time employee. Between work and commuting I am gone over 12 hours a day and yet I still give everything I can when I get home. And it’s just not enough.