Who’s toxic?

I have no business posting this, but it’s been nagging me. I have a friend who I’ve been friends with for 3 years. We started out dating, but realized that didn’t work and became friends. He was severely depressed and I helped him through a lot and helped him recover a lot. A couple years ago though, he called me toxic because he told me he was suicidal again, and out of pure heartbreak I responded really negatively. I apologized multiple times for it, and I felt really bad. But for him to call me toxic for that really hurt.

We had our ups and downs, as we have our differences, but our most current issue is that he came out as aro and ace (not feeling physical or romantic attraction). I had questions, and he knows I like debates so we debated whether or not these things were pertainable to him. I was respectful the entire time, and did not mean it in a way to say that he wasn’t any of these things, just trying to understand along with give him a new perspective, AS HE WAS UPSET OVER BEING LIKE THIS. I told him I thought he would one day find love, because he was jealous of the relationship I was in at the time, and I told him “hey, if I’m being honest I think you’re gonna find someone who you really really love one day.” In no way did I mean his current identity didn’t fit him??

I understand how all this confusion could’ve happened, but I’ve forgiven him so many times for literally countless hurtful things he’s said to me, such as calling me dramatic on multiple occasions for being upset over something hurtful. For example, his good friend was incredibly mean to me and tried to get gossip on me from my close friend. When I told him this though, he defended her. Another time I can think of, I was having relationship problems. I BARELY talked to him about it and he cut me off one day and told me to shut up and move on. This kid called me his best friend but he can’t listen to my relationship issues when I literally dispersed my ranting because I know it’s overdone throughout multiple people so he wouldn’t be overwhelmed.

At this point, I should’ve just known we didn’t work, but this kid was my best friend so I kept it up. It wasn’t until I was talking to my other good friend in which she explained, and she wouldn’t lie to me about this, that he would talk about me to our group of friends about how he wanted to drop me but I “clung onto him”. That was the final straw. I didn’t talk to him one on one after that, but I do have a group chat with him and another friend which as of now, I’m afraid to leave in fear I’ll make it hard on the close friend. In this group chat, whenever I did something which I consider human, like a petty little response to a rude guy in the hallway, a political opinion that he doesn’t agree with, or, in most cases, harsh feelings towards my ex when we were talking about past relationships, he’ll call me rude and a bad person. I find these yknow, normal human behaviors? It’s mentionable that he is on the verge of sociopathic, as pointed out by himself, and I agree. Regardless, I wanted to get the opinion of others:

Am I toxic as he says, or am I right in my feelings?

PS: After telling all our mutual friends I clung onto him he asked me to help defend him against his ex (when he used to yell at me for being petty when I wasn’t) and I listed a million wonderful things about him to defend him when he just bashed me to all our friends.

Extra lil edit to add to the aro ace part. I’m in the same position I guess I put him in with my mother, as I’m bisexual. Most of the “debate” was me asking whether he felt like he could find someone he really liked and find them romantic, what this had to do with his past relationships, and how it worked in response to human nature. In no way shape or form did I ever mean to question his identity, and I said multiple times if you feel like that’s who you are, that’s great.