I get my hopes up so much every month. I buy a few baby items and keep them in a box, I dream of holding our baby and getting to share our happiness with our friends and family. I know this sounds horrible, but my heart breaks thinking of all the people I personally know who have and will get pregnant before me, and I’ll have to hold tears back while I say “I’m so happy for you!”. Now this month I bought an announcement shirt that I will use on my husband with the hopes that we will conceive, but I feel like I’m jinxing this whole deal. It’s going on 18 months of TTC and my hopes are fading, but then I think “we’ve got to be close!” It’s such a roller coaster.