Sex advice.

Sooo I think I'm boring my husband in bed. The last few times we had sex he was like making me dirty talk and the other night he was like "I guess you're getting better at it." I grew up in a very no touchy household which is maybe why I'm just so bad at the whole affection thing I know he loves so much. Idk why he's pushing me to dirty talk more and saying I never initiate anything. We will be married for three years in a few months and you'd think by then I'd be able to try anything and everything with him which sounds fun, its just actually doing it is the hard part. Idk if this means anything or has anything to do with it but I just don't cum... And usually it just feels like he's stabbing my insides and bruising them but the act and thought of it is exciting so its not that I don't want it. Now I believe thats just my body though, I should probably see a Dr.. Anyways, I just want to be fun and exciting in bed for him... I'm just always nervous unless I'm super drunk which is practically never. Oh and I'd like to ad we have never really had regular sex and we don't even call it sex, we call it f*cking bc we are both into all the rough and dirty and hard core things... I'm just scared to actually do it.. I'm still shy after 4 years together and its not him that makes me nervous its me that makes me nervous in the moment. Idk someone give me advice to be the kinky girl my husband and I both know I am inside!