Having hope is so dangerous now in this journey. It has been 2.5 years almost of ttc and it has almost been a year now since we did testing and found out that I don't ovulate or ovulate rarely and he has a morphology factor.

My husband has been dragging his feet on getting his second analysis done. Been since this past May when he got his 2nd referral and that took 3 months of convincing him to try it again. My mil, me, and now my father figure have all talked to him about this spread out months apart.

When my father figure talked to him last week he offered to pay for it and based his talk on the fact he has limited time to see our children. (He just turned 70 and isn't in the best health). My husband seems to want to do it. But still hasn't called to make the appointment and it's almost been a week. I don't know whether to have hope or not.

I asked him about it and he said ya I am gonna call on friday (his day off) to make the appointment for sometime in the near future but he can only go in on Fridays since he goes in to work before they open and gets off after they close and he works 45 minutes away. But idk when hes planning on doing it cause if he's not making the appointment till Friday, and next friday hes making an early morning trip (3 hours away) to his dad's to use his tools fix a minor part on our Jeep (it's not dire). He's done this before when he books for a week or 2 out and always come up with excuses. He's done this 3 times now.

Idk whether to hope that he goes in and does it or whether to not hope anymore.

I know it is a sensitive subject and his pride and ego are at stake. I get it but seriously when we see babies out in public he gets emotional cause he wants one so bad, says he'll do anything for one, ect and then won't do the 1 thing that's holding us back from starting

fertility drugs

to get one, idk what to do anymore.

Anyone else got some encouragement or some advice? I'd seriously appreciate it right now.

*Update*

So today I went with him and he donated his sample to the lab! I'm thrilled he finally did it.

I'm thrilled and terrified at the same time.

If its alot better, we will start Clomid next cycle and hopefully get a baby pretty quickly.

If it hasn't gotten better, we have to start saving for the urologist visit without insurance and that's starts at $500 for just the basic consult and exam with no test ect. And considering it took this long to convince him since to even schedule his second SA...

Ugh I'm praying it's good news.