Guys I don’t know what to do.

We have been TTC for 20 months...I try to not let it affect me and for the most part I’m pretty positive / happy. Internally, I’m suffering. I’m not the same...I feel depressed and sad.

My best friend told me she was pregnant today. Though happy for her, I’m still just so sad for me. So I had a hard day. I cried a lot and let my emotions get the best of me.

So I get home and my husband is just so put out that I’m sad. He’s like why are you so sad? So I tell him that I’m so sick of it and feel so sad and like I’m losing hope and you know what he says? He says well it’ll happen when if happens! I’m so freaking done with you being sad over this. You’re always depressed and our relationship is shit! We never have sex unless you’re ovulating (not true!) and I’m just so done with it!

You guys...I seriously bury my emotions. I NEVER open up and am openly sad about this. EVER! I will admit that I feel it’s changed who I am internally, in a way I can’t explain, but I do not sit and sulk around every day. I work 40 hours a week from home and take care of our three year old. I am generally happy and positive but this hurts me!

I told him this is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, which he thinks is invalid because he lost his mom. Which I agree that it’s not as sad as that, BUT, I have not lost a loved one, therefore this is the hardest thing I’ve been through. And PLUS. That is so different, you cannot compare apples to oranges!

Anyway...just needing some support or love. Has anyone else’s husbands just NOT understood you? I don’t feel supported at all by this and he just makes me feel stupid for being sad over this every once in a while!