I just need to talk

I don’t know if this really belongs here but I feel like I have no one else to talk to about this so I’ll just spill my guts to you ladies. My husband and I had tried to convince for 7 months and I finally got diagnosed with PCOS and somethings in my body needed to be regulated before we started trying again so in the meantime I’ve been put on birth control. I have realized that towards the end of this year is when we will start trying again but with fertility treatments! I’m super excited but super scared. I terrified of it not working and I’m terrified of having a miscarriage. But even tho all of those are scary things nothing about them makes me not want to try for a little family. I don’t know why I’m just now realizing this-but my mom passed away when I was 2 weeks old. I was raised without her and I have grown into the woman I am today with only the teachings from her spirit within my heart. I’m scared to do all of this without my mom. I’m sad that my future baby will never get to meet their grandma and I’m sad that I won’t have her with me in physical form through my journey. I’m sorry this was heavy but I just needed to let it out. Thanks ♥️