I’m at a really low point in my life right now and I really need some advice. I’ve been seeing this guy for 3 months and he was my first. He expressed to me from the beginning that we were just casual and it’s not turning into a relationship because I’m going back to South Africa in August. In the meantime nothing we’ve been saying or doing is casual. He told me about a month ago he loves me and has said it a few times but lately he doesn’t say it anymore because it hurts too much (which I totally get). We hangout all the time (atleast 3 times a week). He is obviously going on other dates because he really wants to start a family and I stupidly said I’m okay with it over fear of him stop seeing me. So he’s gotten pretty serious with this girl (he’s been at her house for 2 days now and hasn’t texted me at all).

Right before he left to go to her he broke down in the car on the way to dropping me off at home at how he is so overwhelmed emotionally because he doesn’t have a true connection with this girl and he doesn’t feel about her the way he feels about me and that he would choose me every day. But he doesn’t know how to tell her and I said he needs to cause that’s not fair on her. Basically I’m just venting here because I can’t stop crying at all and all I want him to do is text me or reach out and that sounds so pathetic and I know this is such an unhealthy relationship especially since it’s my first. Sorry for the rant!