What would you do!?

Question

I just need a different perspective on my situation. I truly don’t know if I’m being spoiled/ dramatic or if I need to cut myself some slack. 
For starters, my husband and I work opposite shifts. I’m a school teacher and he goes “work” while our daughter goes to MMO as well as when I get home at 4:00. He comes home around 8:00-9:00 each night. He has just started an HVAC business with not much success so far. He has spent 100’s of thousands on work vehicles and tools. However, his main business is selling marijuana, which is not legal in my state. He has been a dealer for years. I’m honestly okay with marijuana and am all for it being legal. However, it’s not legal and can get him in a lot of trouble. Already has, actually. Around a year ago is when he ran from the cops and they came to my house searching for him. We had to scrape up the money to get him out of that mess. It sounds bad, but I put up with all of this because it makes the money that we need and my husband is a wonderful person. Seriously the best. Would do anything for anyone. Best dad in the world. Not your typical “drug dealer.” I love him but I am not one of those women who need someone. I am very independent and not one to put up with crap. 
I say all this to say that, at this point, it’s all just too much. I have a safe and respectable job. I work hard. I make a steady income. I take care of our house, pay our bills, etc. I pretty much run my household. I deal with 21 third graders and then come home to my demanding toddler and a messy house every day. I’m upset that he gets to spend time with our daughter without a care in the world and then goes to “work” which is super easy and consists of hanging out and getting high in the process. It’s just hard. I can’t help but to feel negative towards him and refuse to support him with what he does. Good things come from hard work and he is not putting his energy towards his company. What’s worse is that he blames me for holding him back since I chose to go to work. I don’t make a lot and don’t particularly enjoy my job, but I deserve to work when I have earned a degree. On top of all of this, my brother is in prison and has almost died several times this year due to overdose and my dad is dying of cancer. I just can’t manage it all and consider the weight that would be lifted if I separated myself from my husband for a while. What would you do?

Answer

Honestly none of us can tell you what to do. Listen to your heart itll tell you. Good luck hun.

Answer

It’s your decision, though I think there is one big thing in all of this that you said that is important, he has done this for years and you like the money it brings in. It also sounds like your marriage itself is going well, just that you aren’t in a good place. 
I am trying to keep my personal option about him dealing and smoking out of it (though, safe bet if it’s illegal it’s a bad idea!) and just stick with what you asked. It sounds as though you are not happy with your job, and are envious he gets to be home. 
Talk to him about dedicating more time to his HVAC company, but financially it sounds like you need him to keep dealing. Look into other jobs, VIP kids allows you to teach online for around $22 per hour and hours are mostly early mornings. You have the only requirement, a degree. Look into other jobs that you may enjoy more. 
This would allow you to be able to work and keep a consistent job that job that you actually enjoy, but find ones that work with flexible hours so that he can focus on his HVAC business during the day during the week and still deal at night. It will give you the time and means to have enough money and really build the business. If he doesn’t want to do it, sell all that he has invested and look at other job options. If he has hundreds of thousands into it and isn’t going to peruse it, he should step back and figure out another option 
It sounds like you both are happy together, you just aren’t happy with the situation you are in. People are often quick to blame the marriage when it’s actually the situation. The situation can change, but you need to make it. If you two are good together then focus on changing the problem, the work situation. It may take a little while depending on the work availability in your area but you have to start somewhere

Answer

I knew a drug dealer (he sold weed ) well we hung out alot but his days consisted of sleeping in til 11 then make his rounds to whoever and smoke with them, then the rest of the day he would just hang out. So yeah work ethic there is none and I was a little jealous of how easy his life was he made decent money but always had to be on the look out for people that were shady or cops. I would say yes you are pulling WAY more weight then he is, he should have the house spotless and meals cooked as well as help with whatever bills. I think it's just a very scary thing being in that business because you never know.

Answer

If he is that great of a person, husband , and father then he should do what’s best for all of you and stop selling. Even if it means a few months of tight budgets until he can find a better way to spend his time. It sounds like it is hurting your home environment.

What would you do!?

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