I'm not looking for advise, just sharing my story, maybe looking for companionship..

Last year we had a terrible decision to make.

We had bought a puppy. In 2018. Shopped, not adopted because no adoption dog could be matched with our family.

We have 2 cats, and 3 extremely busy kids being only with us for 50% which is not a steady home for an adoption dog.

We thought we could teach a dog to know this routine, to grow up with the kids AND with the calm inbetweens.

I also had grown up around working (herding and driving) dogs and knew that that was what I wanted. I have very high standards of what a dog must know and must be able to do and I didn't think it to be fair to expect that level of working from another kind of dog.

The kids had also always had dogs, so I would assume them to know very basic doggy bodylanguage, but I had never actually seen them interact with a dog longterm. Which is where I had made a mistake. We had made a mistake.

We wanted our dog to be a family dog and since I'd worked from home I spent almost every waking hour with her.

I did long, very long walks with her.

I trained her to the bone, and while in training, while working she was the perfect dog, in our house, she was the perfect dog, outside our house with the kids she was the perfect dog. But we had noticed, she's not at all stress resistant. And the kids, being the not listening type, the not recognizing bodylanguage type, the me explaining bodylanguage and them ignoring me type... Maybe I should have been harder on them. But I wasn't. And they caused our dog too much stress inside the house.. Where 3 extremely busy kids was too much for her. While she was perfect in every way, and we spent so much time with her and her training, she just couldn't cope with the stress of having 3 kids in her house part time. She got snappy when the kids came near her.

Since it was stressrelated, and she was so well trained, no trainer was able to help us. Since this was an accident waiting to happen, there weren't much options available and training, as mentioned, wasn't one of them... It was excruciating..

So we had to rehome her, we contacted the breeder, and she's now living there.

And when we visited.. I was so proud.

I was so proud because the breeder, she felt a little ashamed of herself, showing off our dog she didn't train herself, but she did. I am so glad she was showing off how good our dog was. Because it's not because we had to bring her back that she's a bad dog, I don't want her to have that stigma.

And she was shown off to people who are well familiar with this working breed.

And the breeder told us people were all very interested in her. But she's got such an amazing lovely dog in her, she doesn't want her out ever.

But people thought she would be a perfect military dog, and people asked her to use her for several types of competition and they were sure they could be champions with her..

.. You know.. I was proud like a parent who was told that their homeschooled kid was a doctor and a scientist and a lawyer and a champion winning athlete all in one.

And I trained her into all that.

The breeder said she didn't want her competing, definitely not with someone else. Because our dog is such a good dog.. She would be devastated if something were to happen to her. And that gave us fate.

We know now that she'll be extremely good for our perfect dog because like with us, our dog worked herself into her heart.

And we'll be able to visit whenever we both have time. Which we will.

Because we didn't give up on our dog. We have given her a new home. A better home, where she can be herself, and have the calmness she deserves ❤️

Even though our heart ackes still.. That we had to rehome her, we're happy she's in a home where she can be happy and she is appreciated and we can go and visit her.

@Grace: thank you so much for your response 😘

My husband really didn't want to go for a lab or a golden retriever because they are too much "family dog" 🙄🙄and we have actually been to several shelters before buying but the thing is that even if a dog were compatible with us they would choose other people over us, which was so frustrating. We really do have a good breeder and she offered us a (free) dog from a less nervous line in her lineages because she's so happy with how well our dog was raised, she said that was the first time ever she offered.

But we're going to hold back on having another dog until the kids are older or even out of the house.

@And:

I didn't want to post it because as mentioned I don't want to create stigma.

She would have been a great family dog with just less kids or better kids.

We actually went with this breed because they are in their historical genetics gentler with kids than other working breeds like german shepherds or malinois dogs.. These are bred to be working dogs and family dogs as they were supposed to be family farmdogs.

@And again 😊😊

We're not having a dog now, they have 2 dogs with their mom.. I don't think she should be having them* but okay.. Regardless.. We're still too hurt to have another at this moment to be fair. Also since the kids won't listen to us I don't want to risk causing thesame issue over again. I wouldn't be able to get over the hurt probably.

I can consider having another dog in the house on a week where I don't have to tell all 3 of them to stop harassing the cats 20 times a day. Considering they're in school the largest part of the day that's a lot.

*I've only seen pictures of what their eldest dog has to endure and hear single sided stories but according to the kids he's stuck in an outside concrete ren and he is never walked. One of the kids tells me they THINK he is released from the outside pen when they're in bed and someone walks the dog when they're in school so... If I'd knew more for sure I'd call animal protection services. Poor dog. The younger dog is from mom's boyfriend and seems propperly cared for, I see them taking him out on facebook too, they take him on holidays and leave the older dog alone.