Why is it so recommended to wait to announce pregnancy?

Question

I understand the shit truth that many woman do have complications or a misscarages but I feel like we shame women. Like no ur not allowed to speak about it. As if many many woman dont go through it. 
I been blessed it hasnt happened to me and I pray it wont. 
But I feel we need to end that stigma? 
Please I want to understand both sides. 
Why is it so pushed toward to announce untill after the first trimester? 
If I had a loss I would want the love if my family around not to stay quite and choke in my own depression.

Answer

As someone who lost a baby post heartbeat with a missed miscarriage....I can tell you that very very few people were actually supportive. Most people said crap like it wasn't meant to be, don't worry you'll get pregnant again soon, well it was early and that's really common. ....it isnt about stigma. It's the reality that when you're in the midst of grief, you may not want a bunch of people saying unhelpful crap to you. That said, there's nothing wrong with telling people if that's your choice. But many people prefer to deal with loss more privately, like me. That isn't putting shame on me.

Answer

It’s a personal choice and anyone who judges it either way is a disgusting human being.

Answer

It’s hard to grieve on your own .. when you got everybody trying to grieve with you .. from experience.. it’s annoying

Answer

I think until you have lived through it you will have a difficult time understanding. It is a very personal experience. I was almost 13 weeks when I learned our baby stopped growing at 10 weeks. We had an incredible support system around us but that didn't make it any easier. People say hurtful things like "oh don't worry you'll get pregnant again" or "everything happens for a reason" or "I'm sure God will give you another baby". None of this was helpful. I don't feel like our miscarriage has brought me shame but at the same time I find it completely impossible for anyone to understand unless they have experienced a miscarriage. It is honestly just a very complex thing.

Answer

Someone I know had announced her pregnancies, and each of the 3 ended in miscarriage. She went on to have 2 healthy pregnancies and full term deliveries, but even during this she would get comments like, “Well don’t get too excited, remember your history.” Or “You probably shouldn’t be buying things just yet. You know what happened last time.”
I personally chose to wait because we didn’t want to cause anyone undue stress. I know it’s not about other people, but my mom has had tons of loss in her life, so if we announced early and had a miscarriage, that would be one more thing she would worry about. Her and I grieve differently, so it is hard for me to be there for her in a helpful way.

Answer

I told people I was close to about being pregnant but otherwise kept it to myself. I'm a very private person when it comes to expressing tough emotions, so it's not necessarily helpful to me to have 'support' from people who've never experienced pregnancy loss. 
When I had my miscarriage, I found it was most helpful to talk to people who had already been through it. But in general, it wasn't helpful at all to hear from people who hadn't (with the exception of my very best friends, who know me well). I certainly didn't want random messages from people on Facebook about it. However, once I had processed my own emotions somewhat, I did share openly about my miscarriage because I do think it's important to normalize it, and I wanted to be available for anyone else who might go through it and want to talk. 
I think it's really a personal choice and it comes down to what you think would be most helpful to you in that situation. I didn't want to tell everyone about my pregnancy and then have to tell everyone it didn't work out. For me, it took a lot of energy and internal work and self reflection to get through it and come out the other side. You just have to do what you think is best for you.

Answer

It’s al personal choice. I am one that tells my close friends and family immediately (literally told my parents the day after I got the positive).  I want those people to be there for all of the positives and be there for me Incase something goes wrong. I don’t want my husband and I to have to suffer in silence and I wouldn’t want to tell people I had a miscarriage when they didn’t even know I was pregnant.
A lot of people feel as though 12 weeks is a safe time.  I know from the pain of close friends, that it’s a not always the case.  I’ve had many friends with early miscarriages, I’ve had friends with late ones... and I even had a friend who had a still born.
For that reason... I celebrate from day one with my loved ones,  but like I said... it’s personal choice.

Answer

I absolutely agree and this is a major reason I want to announce early when I get pregnant.
If I were to be one of the 1 in 4 women who suffer a loss, I would want to be open about it and help change the stigma and make it normal to talk about it.
I am also blessed to have a wonderful support system and would want people around me if something were to happen.

Answer

I also have to add I’m not a shy person. If knowing about my miscarriage makes someone feel not so alone (it seems to carry such a stigma) then I’ll tell anyone who cares to know 🤷‍♀️ It makes me sad that it’s not talked about more because while some are okay with grieving alone, others don’t want to be grieve alone but can be too afraid to express their emotions due to worry about being judged.

Answer

It's a personal choice and I can tell you that after losing three babies back to back my husband and I decided to wait till we were in our second trimester to announce. Grandparents knew a few weeks prior but that was it.  Some pople were supportive and others were just nosey when we went through our losses. 
Women should do what feels right in their heart.

Why is it so recommended to wait to announce pregnancy?

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